Desire vs want

I find desire to be a very powerful word. To me, it has more connotations, more strength, than just a want. A want is something you would like to have, but you can’t have right now, for whatever reason. And you’re aware of it, and you realise that it’s not necessary. It’s not something that will spur you to action. It’s just… there. And a want can be ignored. It can be tied up with necessity, but more often than not, it’s often something you’d just want to improve on.

A desire on the other hand, now this is something else entirely. There’s a certain sensuality in the way desire sounds, in the imagery it evokes. A need, perhaps, is to drink something to quench your thirst. Want is to have something cold to swallow, perhaps a cool isotonic drink. A desire, on the other hand, may be to have that drink served to you in a tall chilled wine glass rimmed in gold. With the fragrance of blueberries wafting up your nose as you sip.

And that’s just the imagery it evokes. Desire, in contrast to a want, is to me something active. When you desire something, you go out and make it happen. Or you get someone to help make it happen. It dresses up a want into something more. Makes it respectable. Take this exchange, for instance:

“I want that car in my garage,” said the Shah.

“Ah, now that, sire, is a very good choice. Perhaps… we could discuss the price privately?” the dealer replied, rubbing his hand in glee.

Compare it instead, to this.

“I desire that car,” said the Shah.

“It is yours, sire. If you would step this way, we could get the arrangements out of the way…?” the dealer could not abase himself fast enough.

A desire, I suppose if we go by the exchange above, also means that you would not be putting a price onto what you want. It’s an active component after all, not a passive one. Desire makes you go do things, because you feel you deserve it, that it’s something you should have after an ordeal. Want, on the other hand, is something you see by the wayside, as a by the by. It’s not a necessity, and perhaps never will be. Desire, on the hand, can and will be a necessity, even if it is just a dressed up want.

This entry is brought to you by an overdose of beautiful new tech gadgets I am convincing myself can wait for at least another 18 months before I even consider them, much less lust over.

Seriously, look at these beautiful phones!
Seriously, look at these beautiful Z3 Compact colours! Image from http://www.pcadvisor.co.uk/

007: Heaven

Image of storks from my own collection
Image of storks from my own collection

The first thing she was aware of was the feel of the gentle breeze caressing her cheek.

It was a constant, gentle thing, a cooling wind to blow away the cares of the day. She found herself breathing easily, enjoying the breeze. Each breath she took brought new aromas, opened her senses to more information about this place.

The scent of wildflowers. Of freshly-cut grass. The cleanliness of a river.

A beautiful meadow, she thought to herself, her mind instantly casting back to when she was just five years old, and her parents had taken her and her brother on a family picnic. That one moment, when she was a child, walking in the tall grass.

“Open your eyes, Alice,” the brimstone voice of the demon broke her reverie.

Alice opened her eyes to find herself standing on a small hill, under the shade of a large yew tree. Around them, she could see people about them, frozen in a moment. Some were running after each other. A few were sitting on picnic blankets, sharing food. She even saw a couple kissing passionately, lovers entwined with each other, forgetting the world. Her cheeks turned red and she looked away.

“You may speak, child,” the demon’s voice seemed to unlock Alice’s lips, and she found the questions tumbling out.

“Where is this? What am I doing here? Why is everyone frozen?” Alice found herself hyperventilating, panic rising in her chest for no reason.

“Breathe, child. You are not in danger here. This…” he waited till Alice had taken two deep breaths and released them before he continued, “Is heaven. A place where those who are sinless and those who have done good, are taken to rest. Frozen, in a moment of time, at their happiest.”

“What… what is it that you wish me to do here then?”

“We want you to destroy Heaven,” she looked at him as though he had gone mad.

He grinned, and sat down. Alice could not help but think how absurd it was, that here, in the sunlight, in what was supposed to be one of the holiest places, a demon, complete with horns, cloven feet, and thin tail, was sitting happily on the ground. And looking up to HER as though she was going to do the impossible.

“What?” she blinked and stared at him.

“Corrupt Heaven, Alice. This is the price you will pay.”

“But how?” she took a few steps back from him and held her hands open wide, to emphasise her words.

“I leave that up to you. Let me know when it begins, hmm?” the demon leant against the Yew tree, closed his eyes, and soon began snoring.

Alice did not dare to even think of running away. She had made a bargain, and she would stick with it. The question that arose, of course, was how do you corrupt heaven?

~~~~~~~

Heaven, they say, is a place on earth.

Or that it’s something you work on. I don’t know. And to be honest, I stopped caring a long time ago.

Heaven, to me, is a state of mind. It’s a moment of bliss, a moment of happiness. A moment where everything clicks. When you feel right, and that everything around you is right. A moment that you would want to freeze. So as to remember it forever.

I don’t want to freeze time.

I know I don’t want to die. I have a lot of things to live for. I always had, I’ve just never had the courage to admit it to myself. But that’s beside the point.

I like the idea of Heaven, but I don’t like what you have to do to get there. That separation is painful. And if there is nothing in this life after death, it is also pointless.

Much better to love and appreciate the people around you instead while they are here. Heaven shouldn’t be a place you wait to meet those who’ve gone before. By the time you’ve found out, it’ll be too late.

Heaven should be a place on earth. Or rather, a person on earth.

Moments of happiness. Of life.

I don’t want to leave this plane. I don’t want to leave my friends, my family, my loves. I want to live here. To be here. Eternal happiness is nothing if the people I care about are not there.

Hell, they say, is other people. But I’m willing to be in Hell if my loved ones are in hell. Because my heaven are the people I care about.

And apparently I can care quite a bit.

This entry was written for the 100 Themes Challenge. For the full list, click here.

REVIEW: Lucy


Hosted by imgur.com, image from http://hdwallpape.com

Lucy was awesome.

Lucy is… seriously, quite really, awesome.

You need to know my biasness first. It’s Scarlett Johansson. I loved her as the Black Widow, I love her even more as Lucy. And I love how in Lucy, I felt very terrified for her character in the first 10 minutes than I did screaming for her in Avengers. So there.

Now back to Lucy. TL;DR summary? Lucy is a fairly innocent young woman who becomes the first human with the ability to use 100% of her cerebral capacity. What follows is a mix of anime cutscenes, Korean action sequences and the realisation that it’s a very European show.

TL;DRating? 8/10.

More under the cut! And some some spoilers ahead! Continue reading

On Maturity

Reposted from my G+:

While talking with Masami yesterday, I’ve come to realise that maturity isn’t about being serious and all that. It’s about realising your priorities, being responsible for your own actions AND taking actions to realise your dreams and priorities.

It’s funny. At 30 or close to it, a lot of my girlfriends and I are reassessing our priorities. It’s less about doing what’s fun for the sake of fun but more of doing things to safeguard our family’s futures or give pleasure to our families.

Giving up a holiday to buy a home or to pay off debt doesn’t seem like a sacrifice at all now.

[Prompt] Dragon Dances

Dancing Snake Lady from Manga Matrix
Dancing Snake Lady from the book, Manga Matrix

Needed some inspiration to kickstart the writing juices the other day, so got Nick and Des to give me random numbers. This is the first page, second one’s coming a bit later. Let’s see if this will be a story… Continue reading

[AD] Ryujin Juwara is back!

Mabuyerposter

Calling all toku fans!

I know a lot of people cringed at the various concepts in the show, but from the trailer and the demand, it seems that Ryujin Juwara is back! And it’s at a rather interesting timeslot too! Fridays, 7.30pm actually sounds like a pretty reasonable timeslot instead of 4pm (catering towards the kids, to be honest). Maybe this time I can actually catch the show.

I’m actually kinda excited that it got a second season. Say what you will about the idea, but the production values of the show and the localisation seems to indicate that there was quite a bit of thought that went into the show. Well, at least I know what I’ll be watching tomorrow. Do you? ;)

If you want a more “formal” version of the second season announcement, it’s right after the jump!

Disclaimer: I have received no compensation for this shoutout but I am genuinely curious about the show. The press release attached is provided by Global Creative Media Agency (GCMA).

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Honestly, fear


Just Breathe…. by Kushita on deviantART

How we self-sabotage our own selves.

I’ve always been afraid. I don’t know why. I think it’s gotten worse though, over the years. Might need to do a Timeline therapy for this. Find out the cause of my fear, make my peace with it, and let it go.

The fear, this leaden feeling
It sits in a corner of my chest.
Just under my left breast
A heavy, leaden thing.

When I close my eyes
And acknowledge my fear exists
I find myself standing still, sitting still
Nothing moves.

There is no fear, in the traditional sense
No panic, no increased heartbeat, no desire to run
Instead, what there is
Is resigned acceptance that things change for the worse.

It’s a horrible thing, this fear.
Not the kind that makes you scream, cry, shout in horror
No, this fear is infinitely more terrifying
Simply because it is calming.

Fear to keep you where you are
To protect yourself from disappointment
Freezing yourself in that one moment
To keep the self from harm.

I acknowledge this fear.
I acknowledge it exists.
I know the reason for its presence.
And choose to move forward, with its warning.

Fear is the mind-killer
It is also the protector
Minimising risk and increasing survival rate
Fear was once necessary.

You need love to live
But fear to survive
Without one, the other cannot be.

[AD] The Wind Rises DVD Release!

The Wind Rises main poster

The Wind Rises main poster

Kinda late, but if you’re going to Animangaki tomorrow, remember to pick up the Wind Rises DVD! Yes, it’s not a bootleg, but is official! Animangaki is happening at Sunway Pyramid Convention from 9 August till 10 August, 2014 (that’s tomorrow!).

Press release below.

Disclaimer: I have been asked to write about this release but have not watched it yet. :P
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