I’ve always been afraid. I don’t know why. I think it’s gotten worse though, over the years. Might need to do a Timeline therapy for this. Find out the cause of my fear, make my peace with it, and let it go.
The fear, this leaden feeling
It sits in a corner of my chest.
Just under my left breast
A heavy, leaden thing.
When I close my eyes
And acknowledge my fear exists
I find myself standing still, sitting still
There is no fear, in the traditional sense
No panic, no increased heartbeat, no desire to run
Instead, what there is
Is resigned acceptance that things change for the worse.
It’s a horrible thing, this fear.
Not the kind that makes you scream, cry, shout in horror
No, this fear is infinitely more terrifying
Simply because it is calming.
Fear to keep you where you are
To protect yourself from disappointment
Freezing yourself in that one moment
To keep the self from harm.
I acknowledge this fear.
I acknowledge it exists.
I know the reason for its presence.
And choose to move forward, with its warning.
Fear is the mind-killer
It is also the protector
Minimising risk and increasing survival rate
Fear was once necessary.
You need love to live
But fear to survive
Without one, the other cannot be.