Ashita Ga Mienakute Mo
Private
Letter to muses… and headspace
Mar 29th
A slightly longer version of what I posted over to Note to Muse on LJ:
Dear Kishou and Ta’Lern
I’m glad that we got THAT out of the way. Yes, am editing, no am NOT putting in a sex scene. Goddamnit Ta’Lern your libido is not that uncontrollable!
Dear Franziska and Miles
Hello. Nice to meet you. No, you may not have a fic. I barely know you two, for goodness’ sake! And yes, that does include time playing ONLY AAI: ME. Seriously, stop making puppy eyes, trying to whip me AND invading my dreams. Do. Not. Appreciate.
Dear Sukina, Naoko and the rest of that female line
Darlings, wait wait what? You girls want to do WHAT? This is taking that story wayyyyyyyy out of left field.
Dear Annwn
Can I join you in your corner?
*whimpers*
No love
Struggling Me
PS: Anra, no you may NOT play kissy face with Sukina.
To all the Asian Women on my list
Feb 4th
And no, guys, you don’t count unless you’re transgender. This is a shoutout to promote the 5th Asian Women Blog Carnival, now open here. The theme for this Carnival is Who I Am When I’m (not) With You.
Submissions close 12 February 2010, so get to it, people! 
2010 Resolution
Jan 9th
Just one. A very simple one.
All fiction writings must have a wordcount set before I write it. That’s all.
Now, onto next work.
Happy 2010!
Jan 1st
New decade, new millennium and all that! May your paths this year take you to your destination, and may your journeys bring you joy.
Love
Me and the kids. 
Quiet Moments
Jan 23rd
I’m really starting to think I should just make this into a series:
Hands around his waist
Head on his shoulder
Heart beating behind his
His hand touched hers gently
As they travelled on the motorbike
In that quiet moment
They were happy in each other
And that was all that mattered
You never quite forget
Dec 19th
“Are you that insecure about your own personality that you turn to these things to give you confirmation?”
Yes.
“You’ve a very fair sense of justice, and you need to learn to forgive yourself. It’s not something you’re in control of.”
Me? Fair sense of justice? Since when?
“Maybe you’re being reminded that you’re only human. We weren’t meant to walk this road alone, you know.”
I know, but it’s hard.
“Have you talked this with Him?”
I don’t want to burden Him with this. I feel guilty for doing so.
“… That’s what He’s there for. How do you think you would feel if you were in His shoes?”
Horrible. But I don’t want to be a burden to anyone! Especially not Him!
I… I don’t want to burden Him with all this. I miss being able to talk to Him. I’m ashamed of my weaknesses. Ashamed to admit that I’m not as capable as I think I am. Most of all, I’m ashamed that I’ve let Him down. There were so many things that I could have done another way, but I chose to do it the wrong way, and so I hold myself accountable for that. Thing is, I don’t know what I could have done to make it right.
I’ve been ashamed to admit all this time that I believe in God. I believe that not only does He exists as my Saviour, but that He’s also my Brother. I’m ashamed to talk to Him after all this time because He’s been so very patient with me, but I feel like I’m sliding away. I miss being in His arms, just rattling away and knowing that here was someone who would not judge me for being human (when I myself couldn’t quite accept it), who was my dearest friend from the time I was no more than a cluster of cells in a warm organ and whom I thought of pledging my life to several times.
Today though, I had a long conversation with Him. I don’t even know what it means, but I hope it’s for the best. I do know that I have a large burden on myself, and maybe I am putting pressure on myself, but isn’t it said:
To whom much is given, much is expected. To whom much more is given, much more is expected.Luke 12:48
I just hope I’m up to the task.
Wordsmith with a penchant for writing wonderfully whimsical words.
