Ashita Ga Mienakute Mo
Musings
Words for the year
Jan 21st
Inspired by Joanna’s A Word to Last the Year post, here’s my word for 2010:
Tenaciously.
It was a word I discovered from Confident Writing sometime last year. Tenacity means, according to Oxford:
- holding firmly to something.
- persisting in existence or in a course of action.
My weakness has never been starting. It’s always been completion. Distractions figure too much in my life, and even with goals, I tend to drop personal projects once I’ve stopped being infatuated with them, even if the projects are uncompleted.
See: Nanowrimo, Queen of Daggers, Office Meido Chronicles.
The main reason I give up so easily on such projects is writer’s block. Once I hit a writer’s block, I make token attempts at persisting, and if it works, it works. If it doesn’t, I put it away and promise to come back later.
Which rarely happens.
That’s why my word this year is tenacity. It’s sticking to finishing what I started, no matter how long it takes. No matter how dreary. No matter how much I want to curl up and die. No matter the bad days. No matter the good days.
Perseverance and Tenacity.
Yosh!
Sherlock Holmes 2009: First impressions
Dec 27th
Pardon the incoherency. Reliving the movie makes me squee. Again and again.
Sherlock Holmes the 2009 film delights my heart like no other film can this year. The reason is simple; it plays to all my fangirl instincts. I grew up reading the actual books written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and never really got into the various film incarnations.
Karcy mentioned that the film would appeal to those who loved the books rather than those who grew up on the movies, and I have to agree. They basically threw out the old stereotypes and made a much better tribute to Sir Doyle than I would have thought possible.
How does one describe a detective movie that makes a book fangirl squee? I see so many familiar faces here. Irene Adler. Professor Moriarty. Mrs Hudson. Lestrade. Mary Morstan. 221 B Baker Street.
Each of these characters were brought to life convincingly. They were no weaklings to Holmes and Watson; each were strong and commanding in their own way. Mrs Hudson, in the short scene she appeared, was a wonderful portrayal of a housekeeper who had tenants she rolled her eyes at.
Mary Morstan was fantastic as the governess set to marry Watson. She had grace, poise and the proper air of “Englishness” about her. Irene Adler… well this American temptress was played to the hilt. Each smile, each gesture, the steel in her spine. She was a woman who would shock Victorian England with her daring and that was just what she did.
Lestrade… is not that bumbling. He’s rather competent and quite his own man, even if he is far too conventional. Yes, they are faithful to Sir Doyle’s portrayals. Moriarty is, at this moment, an unknown. An enigma. We saw his hand. We heard his voice. But we did not see the man personally.
I want a sequel for that alone.
But what makes Sherlock Holmes such a squee-worthy movie is the chemistry. There’s actual chemistry between the main cast. The interaction between Holmes and Watson has to be seen to be believed, especially with a jealous Holmes (yes Karcy, it is cute!). Mary Morstan and Watson are the perfect middle-class pair. Adler and Holmes… well, let’s just say that sparks fly.
There’s a bit too many explosions and fighting scenes for my liking (the whole pit fight was one of them) but overall, they add to the story rather than detract. The film does go over the top at times, but at least it’s not an-explosion-a-minute like Michael Bay. You get the feeling that at least Guy Ritchie respects and has some form of admiration for Sir Doyle’s works, but Bay? Has none of that.
Hey Michael Bay, go take some lessons in class, why don’t you?
Ok time to download some e-books. 
[Nanowrimo] Book Titles
Dec 23rd
Considering that I now know where my books are going to go (and with the muses being a bit more cooperative) these are the titles for my works (list for my reference):
Book 1: Dreamer’s Kiss
Book 2: Keys to Twilight (no nothing to do with the novel)
Book 3: Key’s Kiss
Book 1 is completed, now being edited. Adding more things to Book 2. Book 3 I’ll probably leave off for next year.
YOSH!
Comic Fiesta 2009 thoughts
Dec 22nd
Everything written here are all my own thoughts. Because I’m too lazy to do a coherent post (and am waiting for Ubuntu to update) here’s a rundown on thoughts about Comic Fiesta:
No one kicks ass like our attendees
Seriously, no one does. The community who bothers to show up on the Forum, IRC, blog, Twitter and so many others REALLY make the event worth dying for. Every time I read the comments, check out the updates and join the chat, I realise that the community is really something unique. Thanks guys. You make all the aches and pains of goodie bags, the drama of the weeks before and the headache of replying to some inane comments worth. Every. Single. Heartbreak.
Also, we had INTERNATIONAL visitors and booths. The Thai booth that was selling badges rocked so hard. I should have bought more badges from them. The Australian cosplayers were nothing short of epic. And the crazy Canadian and Aussie who walked from the KTM station all the way to Sunway Pyramid have my respect! Also, I was surprised when Narmi came looking for me to say thanks for showing him how to get to CF. That was nice.
Then there’s also the crossing of Internet cultures. One of the most uplifting projects on the Net is Project “You Are Beautiful” where people randomly post notes in bathroom and other places reminding people that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. We had attendees who took it a step further. They did this out of sheer boredom and turned it into one of the most uplifting themes of Comic Fiesta 2009. Did I also mention that our Busking slots were popular? Gan told me that people took his idea and ran away with it; we had buskers WITHIN and WITHOUT the hall.
Lack of cosplayers
I actually liked that there were less cosplayers but who were epic in their own way this year. There were a LOT of cosplayers on Day 1, and not too many on Day 2. However, the quality of cosplayers shot up. Man you guys were awesome! Special highlight goes out to Deidara: you may not have won, but damnit you were epic!
We’re not a government organisation
The day before Comic Fiesta, Sunway Convention Hall had this. Now, on both Saturday and Sunday, we had random people coming up to the Ticketing counter asking us if we knew where that particular programme was being held. They all knew that the programme was on Friday, but decided to come on Saturday and Sunday for some weird reason. One pair decided to buy tickets to check us out on Day 2 (they came on Saturday) but the second pair was simply WTF. They asked us if we had any brochures/flyers regarding the programme which might have been “left behind.”
Um… no?
Our helpers kick ass and take no names
They’re far more dedicated than I ever thought anyone could be. Some came to Comic Fiesta in the middle of exams. Others came, helped out, then went into full costume mode. Yes, that Master Chief cosplayed AND did his helper duties. MMU kids had exams (ON A FREAKING SUNDAY AFTERNOON NO LESS) and yet managed to spare time to come and help us.
Seriously, you guys rock. I, for one, am humbled and really grateful you guys came to help.
Committee Woes
My legs died from standing too long at the Ticketing counter LOL! And from moving around like crazy for the assembly line. :p Kidding. I salute my fellow committee members for this insane endeavour. Some have been doing this for more than 3 years; I think it’s official to say that our lives revolve around this now.
Awesome friends are awesome
They make attending CF a joy, for keeping me company and preventing me from going insane and being understanding when I have to literally disappear to do CF stuff. This year also marks the last year Deidara and Deru will be joining Comic Fiesta for the next 2 years. If all goes as planned, it will be my last too. But I don’t have any regrets. Comic Fiesta brought me some of the best friends I’ll ever know, and gave me a home away from home.
Of course, I admit that I was evil to some (no I am not SORRY at all for making you drive like mad to Sunway Pyramid, Shoji, for the YUA group). But I am glad for friends who let me randomly drag them out for lunch, for looking after my food, for bearing with my madcap antics, for making the effort to attend CF, for random hugs, for being patient, for smacking me on the head, and most of all:
Thank you for being my friends and family. You guys know who you are.
To sign off
THANK YOU FOR MAKING COMIC FIESTA 2009 THE BEST! <333 LOOKING FORWARD TO 2010 WHERE MORE EPICNESS AWAITS!
Muallaf
Dec 17th
When I find a friend who has turned away from religion… it usually means that he’s angry. So who were the Christians who made you angry at Christianity?
Rohani to Brian, Muallaf.
The thing about Yasmin Ahmad films is that I usually walk away from them pensive (Gubra). Sad (Sepet). And in some cases, heartbroken (Sepet again). Yasmin Ahmad movies rarely end on a good note, but they are usually slow, gentle journeys that make you ponder, lazing on the river with a random pop in the water you’d expect now and then from the water lifeforms. At the end of such expeditions, I would usually be saddened that it’d come to an end, no matter what the ending was.
Not so with Muallaf.
Muallaf left me feeling that the lazy ride had been a motorboat, with the occasional stop to refuel. It felt fast, was a little monotonous, but ultimately funny and thought-provoking. I squirmed in my seat hearing Rohani say the above quote to Brian. The lines were true. They described me. I could not though, remember what it was that made me stop going for Mass.
Rohana and Rohani were in a world of their own, but not in the self-deluded kind. They were secure in their faith; strong women in their own right. Rohana was a precocious young girl; mischievious yet ultimately looking out for her sister. She spoke when her sister could not, or did not want to. Rohana, the older one, was a woman of strength, and not just because she was raising her sister on her own. She had this firm, unyielding but gentle core of faith.
I envy that.
Brian Yap made me uncomfortable. He’s a pervert, but perhaps not that different from other men I know. He’s an introvert, but I find it hard to excuse his behaviour to his mom, mainly because of the way he speaks to her. If I’m not wrong, he’s also a typical Hokkien Penangite when it comes to money. I admit that I would make Mrs Yap pay the extra RM2, simply because she’s the type who likes to show off.
What made me uncomfortable about Brian is that I am very much like him, spiritually. He’s not going to Church because the so-called Christians humiliated him. I abandoned the Mass service because I could not stand the hypocrisy of my family.
I stopped going to Church because while I believed there was a God, I found it hard to believe that this same God would disallow love between two men. To condemn those who needed Him the most. The same God whose followers killed each other because of self-importance. The very same God who said He gave us free will, yet
demand that we surrender it for a reward that was vague at best.
It is not God who is on trial though, but our interpretations of Him here.
Yet while Muallaf may come off as preachy to some, I found the film thought-provoking. At the most basic level, it’s a fun film, a typical Yasmin Ahmad film with its share of tender-hearted moments and funny scenes. Scratch the surface and there’s so much more to discover. Muallaf makes me uncomfortable, and for all the right reasons. It makes you think, makes you reexamine what it means to be a Muslim, Christian, a child of faith.
It is a movie of faith.
Muallaf was sponsored by the All Malaysian Bloggers’ Portal. Thanks to Michael and sponsors for the tickets to catch the Gala Premiere last night.
Preserving Memories
Dec 13th
I like taking the LRT alone. The Putra LRT (now known as the Kelana Jaya line) is efficient. Once I put my headset on, there’s nothing but me, my music, and watching the countryside turn into a city. The trains are also punctual, and while they are noisy, I find their rattling comforting. Looking out while the scenes change and I head into the city, it always makes me feel like I’m rediscovering my city again for the first time.
I look for small changes in the scenery, in the buildings that pop up, those left abandoned, those renovated. It speaks to me of an evolving city. An organism that lives and breathes.
Since July 26 2009 though, there is a spot I dread to pass. Yet I find myself looking out for it. Seeing it each time I take the train into the city centre, pass the Central Market stop, I can’t help but search for it. That graffiti on the wall that tears at my heart. A child’s tear-stricken face accompanies that graffiti. Of a middle-aged woman with a laughing smile. A face that has been frozen.
I keep looking for Kak Yasmin’s face. I barely knew her, but to be confronted by that bald fact that she’s gone is always a painful moment. I don’t remove my glasses, not until the train has taken me away, then I quickly wipe away the tears. I find it much easier to be stoic in public, but when I’m alone on the train, it always gets to me.
Malaysia lost a dear daughter. One, more than anyone else I know, who merely wanted to capture the Malaysia she remembered growing up. There was no mention of politics. No messy racial policies to think of. No religious power to appease. She captured what she knew best, even if others called her sentimental and delusional. She captured the best of growing up.
She captured my childhood.
She captured the childlike optimism so missing from today’s movies. She distilled what could have been a potentially messy and all over the place story into its most basic essence; love.
Family love. Religious love. Romantic love. Humanity love.
She captured them all. She captured not just Malaysia, but the human spirit before the turn of the millennium. One where people were honourable. Polite. Respectful. A Malaysia that gave hope that life could be good. That we are equal.
What else can you say with such a legacy?
This post was written for the AllMalaysia.Info contest for the Gala Premiere to Muallaf.
Tones
Nov 20th
Saiyuki’s For Real (1st anime opening) sounds so different when it’s played on the piano as opposed to the original. It’s wonderfully poignant.
*back to work*
Remembrance of a myth
Oct 27th
I remember that day clearly. It was a Malay language class, and the teacher was teaching about the legend of Che Siti Wan Kembang, the fierce female ruler of Kelantan. I was in Standard 3, which meant I was nine years old. The first time I heard about Siti Wan Kembang though, I was in Standard 1. Sometime in the middle of August, we were finally taught about Che Siti Wan Kembang.
Che Siti Wan Kembang and her daughter, Puteri Saadong (or Princess Saadong in English) were the only female rulers in antiquity mentioned in history books. In Malaysian history, before Malacca was founded, most of the action was found in the Northern States. Kelantan, Terengganu, Kedah, then later Perlis and Penang were under the dominion or threat of Siam.
Among all the rulers who bended, bribed, cajoled and rebelled against the old empire of Siam, only one family stood up to Siam. Only two women, as far as I could remember, did not let Siam bully them. These women taught their sisters and daughters of Kelantan how to be fierce. How to fight for what they wanted, and screw anyone who didn’t let them.
The tigers of Kelantan, so feared by the other Malay women, were said to be the fiercest in the land. Mothers told their sons not to marry Kelanatanese women, for they were fierce, demanding, and headstrong. Did I mention that some said these women were the fairest in the land?
Looking back, I think they were the original feminists in Malaya.
Che Siti Wan Kembang was a fearsome ruler whom no one dared to bully. She never married, and because of her independence, some say she was a practitioner of the arcane arts. Her adopted daughter, Puteri Saadong, enamoured the then ruling King of Siam. This is where my memory and Wikipedia diverge. Wiki says that she became a concubine of King Narai. My memory tells me that the King of Siam spent seven years persuading her to do so, but her steadfast loyalty to her cousin impressed him. In the end, he sent her back to her husband with gifts of gold and handmaidens.
One thing Che Siti and Puteri Saadong had in common was their love of the hunt. I cannot remember what happened to Che Siti, but an old movie I watched as a child told the story of Puteri Saadong’s return. She found that her husband had betrayed her. Instead of waiting for her return as he promised, he had slept with her handmaiden. In a fury, she chased him out of the castle, and then shot him in the ear. He was not killed, but died as a coward.
These myths are disappearing. The story of the strong women is being replaced by the pure victim. The legend of Mahsuri supposedly mirrors Siam’s invasion of Langkawi. It portrays its main heroine as a woman who’s forced to die to prove her innocence. Her fate is in the hands of men, whereas the Kelantanese women brooked no such thing.
The easiest way to subjugate a nation is to remove anything that gives them strength. Impress the women that they are victims and they need to bend to men, and you’ll get Malaysian History.
Where is my Che Siti Wan Kembang? Where is my Puteri Saadong? Give me women who stand up for themselves, not bend to the wills of others!
Do you remember any other Malaysian (need not actually be Malay, yes I’d love to have examples from Sabah and Sarawak too!) women of yore who had these qualities? Tell me! Let their stories be heard, let their voices ring out. We cannot forget them.
Quick Check
Oct 27th
Just wanted to do a quick check, especially among Malaysians under 25:
Does the name Che Siti Wan Kembang or Puteri Saadong mean anything to you?
Without referring to Wikipedia, if the names DO ring a bell, do you still remember where you first heard them and in what context? Thanks!
Of work, life and dreams
Oct 16th
Random observations about life:
1. Current eyeshadow that Mom gave me will set better after wiping them with wet tissues. Odd but true. Ok, it turns out that most makeup will set with water.
2. Got my certs yesterday. Now wondering what to do.
3. Clients will always try to make you cry. And stay overnight. And work you like dogs. But there are other clients who’ll remember to say, “Well done, and thank you so much! I know you guys stayed up nights to do this.” Those are the keepers.
4. Having this picture on my desktop does wonder for my mood.
5. Spent 2 years here. I love the people here. Will treasure the memories and the experiences gained. Wondering if I should go, or should I stay?
6. Nanowrimo!!!! Nuff said.
6a. As a continuation, yesterday was musing on the nature of Knuko and Aiureelian. I think I’ve just done a cop-out. The explanation of Aiureelian’s divinity is very… *facepalms*
Now back to work.
Wordsmith with a penchant for writing wonderfully whimsical words.
