Musings

Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20)

You are feeling better now that the Moon has returned to your sign, enabling you to be more responsive to your friends and family. Still, you aren’t sure that they fully understand what you are saying. It’s not that you are being unclear in your communication; it’s more likely that your moods are changing like a spring breeze and by the time you’ve described an emotion, you’re already somewhere else. Keep in mind that no one needs to know about every whim that passes through your mind.

I wrote here recently about how I’m finding the menial tasks I used to do no longer so… tedious. It hit me just before I completed the task Joicy assigned to me that I was not avoiding the task, nor was my eyes skimming over the entries. I was still easily distracted, but whereas it used to take me anytime from 5-10 minutes to get back into the swing of things, it was now taking me just 15 seconds to find where I’d stopped.

And that’s quite a feat for me when you have 10-15 tabs opened, 4 of them from the same blog about 4 different food stalls.

The most important thing I think, is about how I felt during the whole process. It’s the same thing that happened to me when I was doing another task for her. I approached the task with enthusiasm which waned once I hit 6.30pm. :p Once 6.30pm hit, one of two things would happen when I left the office.

The first is my brain would switch off completely. As in I left the task completely in the office, and I did not take it home with me, mentally or electronically. This usually had the effect of me being able to continue where I left off the night before. However, the drawback is if I did this during a research-heavy task, it meant I would spend precious minutes finding the links I was using earlier.

The second was I would carry the task with me to the car and then on the drive home. I worked on the task at home, and when I came into the office in the morning, I would put the task away and concentrate on my daily duties. The task would not be touched until after lunch at the earliest sometimes. The drawback was I’d have the task nagging at me, being on my mind 24/5days.

Both approaches work, and they are vastly superior to my previous method of simply working on it and allowing it to dominate my mind until I felt like escaping from the task or handing it in half-completed. :S At least with the food task, I made sure that each part was completed before moving on to the next. Or as complete as I could make it.

This is where it will sound like an ad, and I apologise.

But I really do have the Self-Actualisation Workshop I went in January 2009 to thank for. Before SA, I would actually fall physically sick. There were days when I contemplated not going in simply because I didn’t like the task. Others I even wanted to switch jobs.

What did SA do to change this? There is a module during training which focused on something of great value to me. It was about dealing with minor tasks. The question simply asked what minor but necessary task that is stopping me from reaching my full potential.

Joicy, Chris and [Grayfox] would know that my weakness has always been formatting. I’m lazy about it. I hate it. Yet this time, when it came to formatting, I did not find it a chore. Neither did I find it hateful.

The reason is simple. During the module mentioned, I simply changed the meaning of what those tasks meant to me. Instead of it being something necessary but loathsome, I changed it to mean something interesting and joyful. It’s not something that can be put into words, but something that I just… feel?

At the end of the day, that’s what SA is about. The Self-Actualisation course teaches you how to unlock your potential and then work towards fulfilling that potential. And it’s a continuous process, because we human beings are limitless. Wouldn’t that be great? Living to your full potential and more each day?

I’m learning that every day, but it’s a slow process. I can finally accept that I’ve changed, and you know what?

I choose to change. That’s the most empowering part of all. Realising the choices I have, the choices to be made, that have been made, and yet to be made.

Before I go, I’d like to also mention one thing too. One of the other aspects of the SA workshop is giving permission to one’s self. It’s something that’s very overlooked and I’m seeing more of it in my life, in the literature I work with and read, including Chris Baty’s book. And I give myself permission each day to be the person I am, because other wise, how can I be at peace with myself?

*Clicks publish*