Ashita Ga Mienakute Mo
Civicness
2 Weddings and 1 Funeral
May 13th
A year ago, a friend got married. The weeks before, she had spent hunting us down at an event, making sure that the wedding cards reached each of our hands, safe and sound. That weekend, I took the LRT down with a male Malay friend to the wedding, and we entered the hotel together. I’m pretty sure the khalwat crew would have had fits if we’d have gone up to the hotel room to see the bride, but we decided to chillax at the cafe instead.
We saw another couple when we went back to the ballroom entrance. They still had the flush of “new couple” around them, though it was great to see the guy getting bullied by the girl. Did I mention that they were a cute mixed couple? Awesome as they were, what was even more awesome was that soon the rest of our friends started arriving. And we were a palette of colours.
As we signed in, there was a chorus of cries as we “complained” that we had all be shunted off into a room by ourselves. Considering our noise levels, I think that was a good point. Certainly no one could complain when we decided to dispense with the normal, “Yam Seng” cheer with another. Lead by Fazri and Victor, I think, we sang this instead (yes, sing):
I don’t wanna close my eyes
I don’t wanna fall asleep
Cause I miss your babe
And I don’t wanna miss a thing!
Which of course, nearly shattered the glass doors.
Then we made the groom sing a song to his bride, all in the name of turning traditions upside down. He sang Mazinger Z’s opening song, I believe, to everyone’s delight. As we dispersed (after throwing the groom into the air, no mean feat, I tell you), everyone walked in one big group to the carpark. We hugged, talked and divided ourselves according to who was going where to go home, and then we promised to meet at the next gathering.
Two years ago, my cousin sister got married. The main thing I remembered about her wedding was standing up and seeing a sea of Chinese faces. That terrified me to no end. The only-non Chinese people I could see was my dad, aunt, my bro and me. My mother’s family doesn’t really trust non-Chinese, which is why the fact that I’m here writing to you on this blog is nothing short of a tiny miracle.
Three years ago, a good friend passed away. He did it in a way only he could; leaving us the day after his birthday.
I still remember the way everyone rushed up to go to Penang for his funeral. The way we all poured into a friend’s house in PJ to plan (very very quickly) the transportation details for the next day. The way we all rushed home after that to grab our clothes. The shock and sorrow I felt at losing him. The memorial we had, online and offline, for him. Hearing stories from friends who attended the funeral, especially from his parents who were surprised that their son had made so many friends. That we all gathered, regardless of colour, to mourn the passing of a guy who really didn’t care about colour.
I didn’t understand how May 13 could have happened from an emotional viewpoint until I went for my cousin sister’s wedding. I realised just how much we’ve moved on since then though, because of the celebrations I’ve attended since then. I’ve come to realise the debate and the reasons behind May 13 isn’t racial. It never was.
It is, always has, and always will be, about class. It was about the poor of one community being told to blame the poor of another community, because the rich of the first community was stealing from the poor and wanted to hoodwink them.
That is all.
May 13 Blog Swarm
May 10th
As seen on the Malaysians LJ community, I’m inviting everyone to join in the May 13 Blogswarm. For too long, the spectre of May 13 has haunted us. So here’s a challenge for May 13. Instead of burying it and pretending everything’s hunky dory, let’s talk about it.
What does May 13 mean to you? What do you know about May 13? Have we moved on since then? Have we stayed stuck in the past?
Tell us. Tell everyone. Do it in a Facebook note. Do it in your blog. Write a poem. Shoot a video. Joke about it. Cry about it.
Let’s make May 13 a day to talk. And listen.
Are you coming?
Edit: Ori page can be found here: http://community.livejournal.com/malaysians/686993.html
Wife of Edit: If you’re on Twitter, our hashtag is #swarm13may. Spread the word.
Names to remember
Apr 28th
Murdered in cold blood. Death by authority. Sacrificed to the lust of men.
Nurin Jazlin
Sharlinie
Melissa Audrey
Asmawi
Ho Ping
Ching Poon
Kugan
Aminulrasyid Amzah
Tania
I’ve not forgotten them. Have you?
Headdesk time!
Apr 12th
In reply to Perkasa saying that Islam shouldn’t be put on the same level as other religions…
DPM: Inter-faith panel just a ‘small fry’
Deputy Prime Minister Muhyiddin Yassin today moved to placate Muslim concerns that the establishment of the inter-faith panel would undermine the status of Islam.
Speaking to reporters in Sungai Buaya, Hulu Selangor said the panel was made up of “small-fry” and was legally toothless and thus, was no threat to Islam.
“It is just an avenue to allow space for better understanding between religions in the country,” Muhyiddin said.
He added that that the body not a commission and it has no powers to influence the country’s policies.
“They are just small fry, (with) a small role played within the Prime Minister Department,” he said.
Muhyiddin said this in response to Malay rights pressure group Perkasa’s criticism of the panel, which was established under the National Unity and Integration Department, led by Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department Koh Tsu Koon.
The panel would be headed by former Kota Bharu MP Ilani Isahak and include representatives from the Islamic Development Department, Institute of Islamic Understanding and the Malaysian Consultative Council on Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Sikhism and Taoism.
Ibrahim argued that the panel should be headed by a prominent Muslim scholar and as it stands, the panel seemingly sidestepped the Rulers Council which is the highest governing body on matters concerning Islam.
Muhyiddin also brushed aside Ibrahim’s criticism of Ilani’s credentials, adding that the senior lawyer was qualified for the job.
“She has vast experience so let’s give her a chance,” he said.
[Civicness] Silence is not an option
Apr 8th
I happened to read this post from the Merch Girl‘s blog before I read Haris Ibrahim’s take on a dead Hindu man who was declared a Muslim at the last minute.
The first emotion that came to me was rage. I’m VERY angry at the way those in the position of power will attempt to do anything and everything they can to get money. That, and the fact that according to most of these “Muslims” there needs to be NO sensitivity spared for those mourning the loss of their beloved.
It is as though to these people, that a bereaving family does not deserve to be treated like human beings because they are not humans. That it’s perfectly fine to submit flimsy pieces of evidence (a conversion cert that did not even match the signature of the deceased!) and call that person a Muslim. Did I mention that these monsters also thought it fit to take away a BREAST-FEEDING CHILD FROM HER MOTHER because she was “of the wrong religion” and needed rehabilitation?
I’m sick of being treated like a second-class citizen because some people associate the idea of “Official Religion” with superiority. That debate is halted because calling into question the way Islam is treated in this country is an insult to that religion.
I’m sick of being told what to say, and what I cannot. I’m tired of being insulted. I’m so tired of watching my country get stolen despite the fact that we voted. I’m tired of racists who insist that I must recognise myself as a Malaysian first, but yet insist that they are Malays first before the country.
I’m sick of people who don’t know their jobs trying to tell me what to do. I hate that lies are so common here in Malaysia. That daughters, sisters and mothers who need safety are treated like animals to satisfy animals.
I’m tired of being ignored because I am a woman. I’m tired of watching my sisters be attacked because they are women, and they are women with powerful voices.
I will NOT remain silent. I WILL remember. I WILL SPEAK. I will WRITE. It is the only thing I can do.
[Civicness] Awang Selamat, Perkasa and HRH Sultan of Selangor
Mar 22nd
Translation for this hate-triggering article. More >
3:10 Success Rates
Feb 26th
Excuse me for clogging up your feeds. Sorry about that
I’ve got a few questions for Information Minister Dr Rais. According to the article I just translated here, his statements raise more questions than they do answers. First off though, I would like to tip my hat off to him, for at least not joining in the gossip about Maya Karin (though Utusan seems to want him to).
Studies carried out in Malaysia between 1995 to 1998 discovered that only three out of every ten mixed marriages succeed.
I’d like to know what is his definition of success. Some couples could be together and still have a failed marriage; they argue, fight, and cheat on each other without actually getting a divorce.
The reality was there were a lot of hardship a mixed couple would face.
Isn’t this the same no matter what the circumstances of your marriage is? No matter the culture, marriage is not a bed of roses. Ideally, this could be bad translation on my part, but reading the context, Rais seems to paint the picture that only mixed marriages have problems while it is smooth sailing for the non-mixed marriages.
Children getting kidnapped back to their home country
I find it very amusing he said this, he’s completely forgotten about this. So how, Mr Rais? Why does Indira have to raise her children as Muslims and not as Hindus? Are you going to overturn the previous and unjust sentence meted out to her children?
Also on the home country thing
Sir, did you mean international mixed marriages, or did you just mean mixed marriages in general? You see sir, I ask because I’m a child of a mixed marriage. My family’s as Malaysian as you can get. I dare say that we’re really Bangsa Malaysia, or 1Malaysia, whatever you want to call rojaks like us. Both my parents are Malaysian nationals.
Thus, while I can understand your worry about children snatching internationally, I feel you do a discredit to everyone else.
Which brings me to my last question: Sir, do you have any friends who are of mixed blood like me?
Translation: Taken from Utusan Malaysia
Feb 26th
Just wanted to do a quick exercise of translating this Malay article into English. Considering the inflammatory language used by the original author/editor/newspaper, I’m trying to make the English version as neutral as possible.
Be wary of mixed marriages
By ZULKIFLI JALIL
email: pengarang@utusan.com.myPUTRAJAYA 25 Feb. – Youths, including artists and celebrities were reminded to think “a thousand times or more” before entering into a mixed marriage, as studies show that the success rate of such marriages were only 3:10.
Information, Communications and Culture Minister, Datuk Seri Dr. Rais Yatim explained that studies carried out in Malaysia between 1995 to 1998 discovered that only three out of every ten mixed marriages succeed.
According to him, the failure is higher among couples with at a Caucasian partner.
“However, in such marriages where the non-Muslim partner enters Islam, the success rate is much higher.”
“This has become common, so youths, including artists can use this as encouragement. If you’d like to know more about this study, you can get it from the civil marriages registration from the syariah records in Johor and Wilayah Persekutuan,” he said to Utusan Malaysia today.
Rais was also asked on his opinion regarding the separation between actress Maya Karin and her husband.
The beautiful actress explained the reason for her marriage’s breakdown laid on them, as they had not taken into account their cultural differences before getting married.
Rais who is also an expert on law and the Constitution, refused to comment on her marriage, saying the reality was there were a lot of hardship a mixed couple would face.
“Such marriages fail because of the many differences in lifestyle, culture, and religion each person was raised into.
“It’s just that most of these marriages are based on ‘whirlwind romances’, so after a short while, each partner falls back to the culture they were raised in.” Translator’s note: I have no idea what he’s trying to say here, actually. I understand the words, but when strung together they make no sense. Alternatives MORE than welcome for this particular section.
Legally speaking, Rais said that mixed couples face quite severe problems if their marriage faces trouble.
“It’s not easy to get a Malaysian citizenship. However, things are easier for a woman marrying a Malaysian man rather than the other way around.”
“This is because citizenship in Sections 16 and 17 of the Federal Constitution is based more on the father’s side and not the mother’s,” he said.
He continued, “It gets even worse if they have a child, as the father may “kidnap” the child back to England or Europe, so in such cases, if the mixed marriage fails, it would be better for them to not have children.”
Original under the cut: More >
Reproduction: Persuasion, not compulsion
Feb 24th
Strictly for my own reference. Apparently the article has been brought down from The Star, but Google saves a cache, as usual. Reproduced here for my own reading:
Persuasion, not compulsion
QUESTION TIME By P. GUNASEGARAM
When federal laws unambiguously prohibit whipping or caning of women, religious laws must not be allowed to do the opposite.
ONE of the small things that I am grateful for is that I cannot be legally whipped or caned for any offence any more. Yes, there are criminal penalties which can specify whipping, but not for those over 50, I am told. Sometimes being old(er) is an advantage.
The other reason that I won’t be legally whipped is that I am not a Muslim and therefore my personal behaviour is not subject to syariah courts, which can hold me liable for offences such as drinking alcohol and have me caned.
For me and for millions of Malaysians of all races and religions, Feb 9, 2010, was a sad, black day in the history of our country. On that day, three women were caned legally for the first time ever in this country. They, all Muslims, were caned for engaging in illicit sex, an offence under syariah law, it was announced.
It is shocking that such sentences are being meted out for such offences. While religious laws may allow for such sentences, it is possible for judges to mete out lower sentences, especially when such “offences” are of a very personal nature and harm no one else.
When there are loopholes in religious laws which allow such punishment out of all proportion to the “crime” committed, and which go against the sensibilities of most Malaysians, then it is incumbent upon the Government of the day to use the legislature to do the needful. Otherwise it abdicates its responsibility.
Illicit sex means sex out of wedlock and if we are all not hypocrites, we will admit that it happens all the time, among both Muslims and non-Muslims. To prescribe caning for such an offence is something that most Malaysians are likely to consider just too much.
It also opens the door for caning for more minor offences in the eyes of religious officials, such as drinking alcohol. In fact one Muslim woman, who has refused to appeal her case, is currently awaiting a caning sentence to be carried out after she was found guilty of drinking alcohol.
That case attracted international attention and made it to the front page of two international financial dailies – The Wall Street Journal and The Financial Times – on the same day last year. The current case, announced on Wednesday, is already beginning to attract world attention.
With three women already having been caned for illicit sex, the way has been paved for more caning of women in the future. That will not endear Malaysia to Malaysians, let alone foreigners who are inevitably going to equate us with the Taliban. And who can blame them?
And are we going to go further down the slippery road and cane women for dressing immodestly too, as has been done in some countries?
There are already indications that Malays, especially women, are migrating and leaving their homeland, not because they don’t have opportunities here but because as Muslims, their personal freedom is restricted – and there is danger that it will be curtailed even more.
Yes, it has been said the three women did not suffer any cuts or bruises following the caning but that is scant consolation to those who have to undergo such humiliating punishment on top of the intrusion into their personal affairs.
As if the caning was not bad enough, alarmingly they spent months in prison. One of them is still serving her jail sentence and will be released only in June.
All three were found guilty of committing illicit sex by the Federal Territory Syariah High Court, which issued the caning order between December last year and last month. Perplexingly, they were not made public at that point of time. The public had no idea of the caning before it was done.
Also, it was not clear if the women had exercised their full rights under syariah law by appealing the court’s decision.
These are behaviours which should not be treated as if they were criminal offences; but they have been. The offenders have not only been caned but also jailed, which is rather harsh punishment for something which did not harm anyone else and was done in privacy and behind closed doors.
This is clear indication that there are laws in our statute books – both syariah as well as civil – which are outdated and need to be revised in keeping with the times and the recognition that individuals have personal rights.
Personal behaviour between consenting adults that do no physical harm to them and to others should not be legislated. This is in keeping with the development of personal rights throughout the world, and anything that takes away these rights is a step backwards.
Religion is open to interpretation, man interprets it and man can – and does – make mistakes.
Even if religious rules are flouted, we should have a system which does not mete out punishment for offences, and focus instead on rehabilitation and counselling. That will be in keeping with the universal tenet that there is no compulsion when it comes to religion.
Custodial and punitive sentences by religious courts should be limited via statutes because personal behaviour of adults is often involved and there is no hurt or harm to any others arising from such behaviour.
Religion is about persuasion not compulsion, about faith not certainty, and that is the way we should keep it. Otherwise, bigotry is going to get in the way and we won’t be following the tenets of religion but of those who choose to interpret it the way they want to.
We have all seen what happens when religion – no matter what religion – is carried to extremes and hijacked by bigots. We don’t want public flogging, we don’t want arms chopped off, we don’t want people to be stoned to death, and we don’t want people to be burned at the stake.
We have already moved way past that. Let’s not allow a small number of religious bigots to take us back into the dark ages. And for that, we all need to stand up and speak up when our individual rights are trampled upon.
Managing editor P. Gunasegaram is appalled by the number of sins committed in the name of God.
Keep remembering
Jan 21st
Things to remember, in the aftermath of the Allah controversy that’s distracting everyone from the other issues in the country. This here is RibutKL’s list. Here’s mine:
Nurin Jazlin
Sharlinie
Melissa Audrey
Asmawi
Ho Ping
Ching Poon
The Penan girls
Where are they? Where is the justice for these speechless souls?
Wordsmith with a penchant for writing wonderfully whimsical words.
