Wanting to Type

But no idea on what to type. When I’m away from the computer or from pen and paper (yes I still use those mediums don’t believe me ask my colleagues), I have all these prompts from my muses, but as soon as I sit in front of the PC they evaporate, or I find myself unable to write, because everything that’s flowing out is RUBBISH. I suppose this is not a really good idea to confess when I may or may not have a part-time gig coming up, but hey, if you can’t rant on your blog, where can you?

My quality at work has also gone down drastically. It’s not really routine (though to an extent it is) but I find myself unable to come up with phrases descriptions, and other works that would make people go WOW! I used to be able to do that, but as of late I’ve been turning to using obscure references and random things that make sense but only if you look a bit harder or if you’ve been an Internet junkie. Has the well of inspiration run dry? I’m starting to think it has.

Roleplaying Sukina (I roleplay her on Gaia in one of the boards) is a bit of a daze for me. It’s much like roleplaying Naoko all over again, except either Naoko’s integrated herself into Sukina or I’ve lost touch with her. Because instead of being a demure, quiet girl, she’s become this Mistress of Masks and faces. She keeps switching between personalities, and although I can keep up with it and pin the reason down to distance from her siblings as well as a dangerously out of balance emotional state, the basic core of her nature shouldn’t change, but it has.

Sukina darling, Naoko is supposed to wear the Harlot’s Mask of Change darling, and not you. It’s just very disconcerting to your writer when you girls pull switches off like these.

There are a number of things I need to do, moving out is the least of them. I have a semi-completed FST that needs uploading (I need to pull out the lyrics and the like so that they make sense to whoever’s downloading), another that’s begging to be created but I haven’t had the time or inclination to do so (Sorry Diva!), chapter 18 or 19 of Keys has been hanging for nearly two months, adding a gallery to my domain… So many things to do, but I don’t feel like doing them.

The only thing I really do feel like doing is going up to Penang and seeing him again. Although we’ve parted, I just want to sit down with him again. Just want to sit down and talk.

Sometimes the only thing you can do is to keep on moving. And if you’re small and fast enough, hit them where they can’t get to you.