And the reason I cling to the online family.
Company dinner was quite fun. The bowling tourney was something unexpected, but it was seriously fun and I enjoyed knocking whatever pins I could down. You could not imagine the gratification of hitting someone’s face with a bowling ball when you are bowling, especially if they are people who demeaned you.
That said, went for a nerve-wracking review earlier (which was VERY unexpected) got some good news (YAY BONUS!) and finished tasks and all. I suppose that receiving the bonus was really an unexpected bonus. I train myself NOT to expect a bonus or any surprises in salary, because I think I could be doing so much more with the pay they are giving me, AND I SHALL!
So, I won the Telephone Addict silver award (apparently because I message and play with the WAP settings a lot) while the team won a huge gift + award: Best Achievement, which we are sharing the chocolate hamper, not to mention the FREE AIRASIA TICKETS (PENANG HERE I COME!) that came with it.
Now this is where the angst begins:
I called my mom during the dinner to tell her the news about the bonus because I had not been able to do so earlier. Before I can even tell her, mom starts screaming hysterically at me, asking me about the time and why I was still there (for your info, it was just around 9pm). When I told her that we were still taking pictures, she asked me why I couldn’t just leave. -_-” And when I told her that I would be sending two colleagues back, she and dad (heard the b*stard in the background) both became like the very indignant parents of a 14-year old who could not come home early because she had a function to oversee but they want her back at that time.
Right, like I can’t even call to talk to you. What the FUCK is your problem? I’m not 14 and I refuse to be. If you can’t handle it, then fine. I’ll move out. As it stands, I will have enough by March to look for an apartment then, and if you want me out faster I can bunk in with a few friends for a little while.
Right now, cheesed off doesn’t describe what I am. Sad and disappointed is what I am. Because I’m disappointed that the people whom I wanted to share the news with the most, don’t care, and they seem not to care that I’m their daughter. It feels more like I am a pet they are taking care of, or a person renting a room from them.
Perhaps the fault is on my side. I don’t show my mom how much I love her, so she doesn’t know. But that does not mean that I can allow her to use me as her stepping stones to her own long-lost dream or her replacement now, does it?
I refuse to do so. I will NOT be a replacement for her.
I miss him too.