Aftermath of Dinner

And the reason I cling to the online family.

Company dinner was quite fun. The bowling tourney was something unexpected, but it was seriously fun and I enjoyed knocking whatever pins I could down. You could not imagine the gratification of hitting someone’s face with a bowling ball when you are bowling, especially if they are people who demeaned you.

That said, went for a nerve-wracking review earlier (which was VERY unexpected) got some good news (YAY BONUS!) and finished tasks and all. I suppose that receiving the bonus was really an unexpected bonus. I train myself NOT to expect a bonus or any surprises in salary, because I think I could be doing so much more with the pay they are giving me, AND I SHALL!

So, I won the Telephone Addict silver award (apparently because I message and play with the WAP settings a lot) while the team won a huge gift + award: Best Achievement, which we are sharing the chocolate hamper, not to mention the FREE AIRASIA TICKETS (PENANG HERE I COME!) that came with it.

Now this is where the angst begins:

I called my mom during the dinner to tell her the news about the bonus because I had not been able to do so earlier. Before I can even tell her, mom starts screaming hysterically at me, asking me about the time and why I was still there (for your info, it was just around 9pm). When I told her that we were still taking pictures, she asked me why I couldn’t just leave. -_-” And when I told her that I would be sending two colleagues back, she and dad (heard the b*stard in the background) both became like the very indignant parents of a 14-year old who could not come home early because she had a function to oversee but they want her back at that time.

Right, like I can’t even call to talk to you. What the FUCK is your problem? I’m not 14 and I refuse to be. If you can’t handle it, then fine. I’ll move out. As it stands, I will have enough by March to look for an apartment then, and if you want me out faster I can bunk in with a few friends for a little while.

Right now, cheesed off doesn’t describe what I am. Sad and disappointed is what I am. Because I’m disappointed that the people whom I wanted to share the news with the most, don’t care, and they seem not to care that I’m their daughter. It feels more like I am a pet they are taking care of, or a person renting a room from them.

Perhaps the fault is on my side. I don’t show my mom how much I love her, so she doesn’t know. But that does not mean that I can allow her to use me as her stepping stones to her own long-lost dream or her replacement now, does it?

I refuse to do so. I will NOT be a replacement for her.

I miss him too.

2 Responses

  1. Ganaesh January 20, 2008 / 3:35 PM

    *pats back* How long till you can move out to a place of your own?

    Geminianeyes: Another few months. I’m trying to pad my bank account so I have enough money for six months rent at least before I start looking for a place.

  2. The Eternal Wanderer January 21, 2008 / 11:07 AM

    There, there, dear! *huggles imouto-chan*
    As always, my place is open to you until you’re our able to find a permanent place to stay.
    While I would try to see things from your folks’ side, I have to agree that they are seriously on the wrong side of the fence this time around. I really don’t understand, lah, your parents…
    Cheer up, yeah! You got a bonus after all!

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