[Project 365] Into the Crucible

I didn't think I could draw this well...

I didn’t think I could draw this well…

Today was quite a big day for me because of what I learnt. Friday and Saturday were the days where we learnt how to change the meanings of our thoughts and basically everything that made us up, while today, Sunday, was the day we really moved things up.

I’d heard a lot about the Crucible, and it is a place for me to pour all my emotions, thoughts and anything and everything that inhibits me from being the person I want to be, and the potential I want to unleash, into something more enriching and powerful. It turns those meanings into something that empowers me, rather than dispowering.

It’s not as hard as it sounds, but neither is it easy. The images and the meanings I had loaded to the Crucible turned out to be nothing but over-loading. It was a place that I felt safe, I felt honest, and a place that I felt calm and strong.

The most important ingredient in the Crucible (for me) is that sense of truth. It is a place for ruthless honesty, and I MUST be honest about it. My reactions, my strengths, misgivings, desires, weaknesses… whatever I chose to put into the Crucible to change the meaning of that inhibitor, whatever that blocks me, I have to be prepared to be open and honest enough to accept it. That’s why the Witnessing and Acceptance steps are so important.

If you attempt to do something that your body and whole self knows its wrong, then nothing is in harmony and you will most certainly fail or at least struggle greatly with your decision. It is important to discover the meaning of that thing to you, and if need be, to remove all the toxic meanings associated with it but giving it instead meaning that will empower you.

This was what happened. There is that one moment in time when I simply closed my eyes and allowed my question to reverberate in my being, to letting it sink into my body and asking if I was truly prepared to take this step, to claim ownership of my fear and by doing so, to changing its meaning to something that empowers me.

I have never felt more inspired and fired up than I have been. That single moment, to use an old cliché, has changed my life. Bringing my potential to the fore is not an easy task, and it is one that I am more capable than ever to face now.

I will falter. I will make mistakes. I will fall. And I will be rejected.

The key meaning for me is to take all that, and accept it as a challenge. This is the second time I have been thrown the gauntlet, and so it is a timely reminder to accept this.

I am ready.