I’m crossposting this because I think Ela and Karcy, the most vocal feminists on my F-list, would be interested in this.
This was a very interesting post written by [Chris]. Here’s my answer to parts of his post:
First, chivalrous =/= femininity.
My opinion is simply thus: it’s an attitude problem with some women. Or rather, with most humans. If you have the entitlement mentality (and we have A LOT OF THEM in Malaysia, unsure about the rest of the world), then you are going to find them everywhere.
These people are poisonous, because they think they should be given certain things simply by fact of birth or accident. It’s not just women, but it’s a mentality cultivated. I do agree that there are some women who abuse this, but I do not think it’s just feminists abusing this. It’s the humans who have this attitude. As a whole.
It’s all about me. My body. My rules. My temple.
It’s all well and good to claim that we are being selfish, but let me put it into perspective to you.
It’s my right. The spirit behind this statement is that it’s about MY rights, it’s MY body and it’s all about ME.
Yes it IS my right. It IS my body. It IS my life. And you know why?
Try growing up as a woman. Not as a man. As a woman.
From birth, we are taught (as girls in an Asian culture) that your body does not belong to you. That you need to be a virgin to be married. That your ULTIMATE goal in life IS to be married. You’re not encouraged to be the best person you are. You’re not told, as boys often are, to chase your dreams.
Men are told to be breadwinners. They are told to pursue whatever makes them happiest, and the Government, society, and family will encourage them. Heck, if needed, they’ll even be given a helping leg up if they need it. Don’t believe me? Look around you.
Loans, grants, business deals. These are all given to men by default. Want to marry? You must have your parents’ permission, or the permission of a man. Even dating is the same thing! A parent doesn’t really care about who their son is dating unless it’s been going on for a long time, but a girl needs to get her father’s approval to date.
A woman will need to fight THAT MUCH HARDER to secure these things, simply because most people (including other women) will think:
Aaa, what happens if she gets pregnant? No, I better pass this on to the guy, at least he’ll still be working if his wife gets pregnant.
Why should the woman be penalised for her choices in life? Why am I, a woman, being treated as less than a man’s worth? I’m different, yes, so what? In tasks and duties where a man and a woman are equal, why should the women be penalised?
On the definition of rights
Personal rights are a gift given by others to us not the other way around
This is a personal opinion, but for me, it’s absolute, and simply bullshit.
The reason why we are all here today is because our rights were demanded. They were sacrifices made by our parents, by the previous generation to be where we are today.
Take Malaysia, for example. If our grandparents had not demanded for their rights to be a Malaysian citizen, none of us would be here. None of us would be sitting at the computer, reading the words written here.
Rights are a prize. Yes, they are given to you, but once given you MUST protect it fiercely. It is not to be given away nor accepted and returned. Otherwise it would be a privilege.
Men do have rights. Unfortunately, a lot of times, these rights overpower women.
Men’s rights, in many cases, refer to abusing women. This is a fact. Legalities in Malaysia ensure that while mothers have custody of their children, their father is the one who gets the final say in their education, their spendings, their lives.
In some courts, so-called father’s rights are being misused to threatened the mother. In extreme cases, these father’s rights are being used to paint the mother as a deranged lunatic, who’s completely unfit to be the caregiver of her own child.
In some places, it is a MAN’S RIGHT to have sex with whomever he pleases, even if it means raping his wife. If his wife denies him sex with him, then he can rape her. The courts will not interfere in a “domestic” squabble.
In some courts, a man need only say, “I didn’t do it,” and he’ll walk away scot-free. In that same court, a girl who waited two months to lodge a rape report was told that because she waited, it didn’t matter. She must have consented to such a rape, even when she didn’t.
Women’s rights, for me, is tied very, very closely to women’s empowerment. Sure if you look around you, it may seem that women are empowered. The rights we demanded for has been given. So why be so angry? Why roar for something we already have?
Because women’s rights are ignored. All over the world, women are being persecuted simply for being women. War rape is happening because MEN want to destroy each other, and thus they destroy the women by raping their bodies. Marital rape happens because the MAN thinks he has exclusive access and say in his wife’s body.
So don’t talk to me about women’s rights being abused. If you want to talk about it, then let me talk to you about gender-based violence. Let me tell you about the atrocities committed by man against woman.
Oh yes, and of course you say that God created woman to be Man’s helper, let me remind you that this is the same God that said:
If a man sells his daughter as a servant, she is not to go free as menservants do. 8 If she does not please the master who has selected her for himself, he must let her be redeemed. He has no right to sell her to foreigners, because he has broken faith with her. 9 If he selects her for his son, he must grant her the rights of a daughter. 10 If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights. 11 If he does not provide her with these three things, she is to go free, without any payment of money.. (Exodus 21:7-11)
This, according to the Bible, clearly paints a God who says it’s fine to treat women as nothing more than your sex slave. She has no say in her life.
If you are going to read the Bible, then read it in its entirety. Don’t pick and choose. Don’t say God said this, but ignore the fact that God also said that.
The Bible to me, was never meant to be anything more than a history book. I don’t believe that the Bible is meant to be a book teaching you how to live your life. I believe it was meant to tell you what came before. Not to repeat your mistakes.