Writing quote

“He bound her with chains of longing. With desire and lust of power, did his desire overcome her freedom. He sought to restore to life his mistakes. For her crimes, did she deserve punishment, and such a one she sought, but more than that she was punished.”

What does the above scenario sound like to you?

8 Responses

  1. DMJ February 8, 2010 / 11:14 PM

    The Bible!

    • Naoko Kensaku February 8, 2010 / 11:35 PM

      Swts. For the punishment lover thing?

  2. Jha February 8, 2010 / 11:25 PM

    A really, really, shitty romance novel.
    And we know those are always filled with rape scenes masquerading as seduction.

    • Naoko Kensaku February 8, 2010 / 11:37 PM

      It wasn’t meant to be a romance novel (thought didn’t occur to me until you mention it) but you’re close on the second mark. Am looking at the point of rape of the soul, rather than actual rape. And there’s no seduction at all in this.

  3. Izzu February 9, 2010 / 1:41 AM


    It was not exact similar scene… (because there was NO lust for power, just the guy did not know how to love a person) but the scenario reminds me of the DV half plot of Last Friends drama. Hahahahahah~

  4. Lord Zhilbar February 10, 2010 / 6:44 AM

    Yeeeah, sounds like a romance novel all right.

    It could use some tightening up, as well. Let’s see, just off the top of my head, how about..

    “With chains forged of his dark desire, he bound her to his will. She deserved punishment for her crimes, that she well knew… but not like this. Not like this!”

    Any help?

    • Naoko Kensaku February 10, 2010 / 8:08 AM

      First sentence is a bit of a stretch. Second is right out. It’s not a romance novel, and I want that awareness of hers. She knew she committed a crime, and the punishment was in her hands to choose, not for someone else to administer. :3

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