Mysticism, I has it.
The Angel Healing cards, according Doreen Virtue, is supposed to be read in a side to side manner, aka from far left to right. I’ve got what Malaysians colloquially call "itchy hands", which means I can’t leave things as it is, or in this case, I can’t quite obey the instructions.
Or don’t read them well.
In this case, I laid the 5 cards out as though I was doing a partial Celtic Cross spread.
Self was the Harmony card. The first thing that popped out, "Beloved Child of God, you are a peace-lover at heart." Insert as many facepalms as you will here. Yes, I am a peace-lover at heart, but the overall message the cards were telling me was that everything is going to be ok. Let things flow and happen in their own way, in their own time.
Next, I pulled out an upside down Balance card. Right side up, it indicated a need to get balance back into my life. Or rather, with it upside down, it meant that balance was missing in my life. Instincts tell me that this is the current situation card. Where I am right now. My life is unbalanced. The scales are tipped to one side. This child walks in the dark and but misses the joy of the light (yes grammar mistake is deliberate).
Dream, which I associated strongly with going to Japan, was next. Upside down. When I opened my eyes after drawing the cards, I felt my heart break. My question had been simple; would I be going to Japan before the end of 2010? The card said no. Or rather, the dream to go to Japan was broken. In pieces. Writing this out, I’m struck with a sense of rightness. The dream is broken because it was incomplete. In essence, it was not a full application I was submitting to the Universe, but a partial and very sloppily-filled one. It’s time to take some time out and ask myself if this is really what I want to do, and are my fears justified enough for me to feel apprehensive to sabotage myself thus? This is my Challenge card.
"You are worried that your spiritual growth will affect the relationships you have with the people around you." Completely and utterly. This is my fear. If I should become a more spiritual person, one who is in touch with the "magic" and "faith" of the world, would I be shunned? Would I lose the company of people I enjoy? These questions are groundless and useless. All I can do is to have faith, and hope. This was my Fear card.
Be not afraid to love. Love is hate’s undoing. It is the ultimate absolver of sins. The protection of God. The promise made to a child. Angel Sanctuary by Kaori Yuki taught me this. Seeing an upside-down Michael reminds me of the way she portrayed the famous Michael; not as a fully-grown warrior, but a boy who harboured bitterness at his brother. His lesson had been to realise the love he had for his brother.
Throw away the suspicion, the hate shall not be your undoing. Let love wash it away. Have faith that things will turn out for the best. That… is my Lesson card.