Excuse me. Inner Editor Angie here. There’s been quite a few things the girl has been writing (HEY!) that frankly, doesn’t quite meet my standards. Now, considering that this is Nanowrimo we’re talking about AND that the child is actually making effort to write a coherent and concrete story for once, I’m going to let it slide. However, there are some things that need to be revisited AFTER this draft is done, so here’s a list for you. Now, don’t make that face at me. If you’re going to ignore me for an entire MONTH just so you can get the story out, then you bet your pretty little Mokona I’m going to make sure you actually EDIT the bloody thing after Nano.

Things to note:

  • Time frame between first and second gen. 200 years seems enough for at least six, not three generations. Get that cleared up.
  • Naoko needs a knife in that rempit scene. You know which one I’m talking about.
  • The T in TGP needs clarification. Right now it looks like a Mary Sue
  • ALL action scenes need to be revisited. PRONTO.
  • Disposable characters much?

And this is just for the FIRST 25k words. I look forward to editing the rest. Ehehehe. *evil laugh*

(The author, as you can guess, is whimpering now).