I want my mama

Was driving home from work and was at the junction near my house when I thought to myself; ah, I want to see Mama today! I wanted to tell her about my new job, about the people I met, about the photobooks, and so much more.

Then I remembered, Mama’s no longer here.

It took a few seconds for that to sink it, and when it did, so did the sadness, like a blow to my face. Mama was gone. She’s no longer here. I parked my car quickly and rushed inside the house. No one was at home, not even my brother, for the first time, I can finally give myself over to the tears and grieve. My mama’s gone. Mama’s gone. Mama’s not here anymore.

I cannot remember a time when her presence was unimportant. I can’t remember a time when Mama was not around. I miss sitting next to her, my head on her shoulder, while she pouts on something.

I miss my mama. I want my mama. I want my mama.

4 Responses

  1. JeninCanada January 21, 2011 / 5:22 AM

    *hugs* You do not have to stay strong. The big blowup crying fest was only the beginning. The feelings will come and go, sometimes easily, other times not. Take good care of you.

    ~LadyEladrin

    • Naoko Kensaku January 21, 2011 / 8:12 AM

      *glomps* Jen! <3 Missed you!

      And yes, I promise to take good care of myself. Thank you.

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