What is writing, to me?

You know, this is really the million-dollar question for me.

Do I love writing, or is it just that tapping on the keys that make me so happy?

What is it about typing on keys physically that give me such joy?

Is it the sounds? The comforting sound as the keys are tapped and words are brought to life?

Is it the act of watching words magically appear as they move from my brain to my hands to my fingertips, to be transmitted electronically to the screen?

Is it the fascination of my own narcissistic tendencies to watch my thoughts take shape? To hear them go out into the world?

I honestly don’t know anymore. I’m not sure whether I’m suffering from withdrawal or if it’s the cruel reality crashing in on me. That I was never that great a writer to begin with. That I don’t have the power nor the attention span this craft demands.

Have I romanticised the writing profession? Have I elevated the craft into something I can no longer reach? Did I do them, so that as a talentless hack I can say that it’s too difficult for me?

I honestly wonder now, how writers whom others consider mediocre, feel about their writing when they write. Do they write with the confidence that there’s always a small audience willing to read them? Do they write because they have that burning passion to? Are they able to release their characters and their stories into the wild, defenceless except for what they hold, and watch those same words be slaughtered beyond all recognition?

How do they find the courage to try again? How do they even get the courage to do it in the first place?

I miss writing. But I wonder, at times, if it misses me.

And that, is a question, that has sparked up another blog post to be posted later.

3 Responses

  1. Yumi June 1, 2011 / 2:16 PM

    Saa, I write because there’s something I want to read that I can’t find, and I write to improve because, like in everything else, practice makes perfect. I don’t think I’ve ever truly been satisfied with anything I’ve written, really. I’m always haunted by the fact that there’s something I could do to improve it that I cannot yet see. Sometimes I look back on my previous writings and wonder what I was smoking when I wrote them. Still, if I can’t see it, probably someone else can, so I end up leaving it to the reader’s judgement. I can only do the best I can at any given time, after all. Besides, if you need a sobering thought occasionally, be comforted by the fact that Twilight is a bestseller. Surely, surely, you can create no worse. LOL

    • Naoko Kensaku June 1, 2011 / 6:35 PM

      That *is* a comforting thought. XDD

  2. Lord Zhilbar June 2, 2011 / 2:22 AM

    *Votes narcissism*

    But really, I can’t help but think the audience is almost superfluous to a true and proper writing process. I’ll admit that on the occasions when I sit down to put something together, it’s nice to get feedback from other people as that helps to tighten it up…

    But all in all? Writing is something you do for yourself, because you want to write. Because you’ve got a concept in your head and you want it down in physical form, right there in front of you. Because you’ve got a story bubbling around and it needs telling. Looking back on what you have written is nice and all, but writing itself is the process of going forward… and you go forward for yourself.

    At least, that’s your humble red-haired devil’s take on the matter. *Is never going to stop snickering at being one of those*

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