Rape culture in Malaysia, it is alive

Today, while I was walking back to the car with my packed McDonalds lunch, a guy on a lorry accosted me. The lorry was parked with its rear facing the building and the “gate” of the back down, so I thought that he was waiting for someone to come and load things onto the lorry.

Suddenly he said to me, “Eh, tak mau kah tak mau kah? Bagi!” which translates to, “Eh, don’t you want those? Give them to me!” referring to my food.

When I looked at him in shock and fear, I think he got off on that. There was another guy who was standing at the door of a nearby shop, who simply laughed. I became defensive.

“Tak mau! Saya punya! You nak makan, suruh dia belanja!” translates to “No way! It’s mine! You want to eat, ask the other guy to buy for you!” in a joking manner.

Was I pissed? No, not really.

Was I uncomfortable? Yes, a bit.

Was I sad? Yes, I was.

Because I was thinking that if he had a daughter, he would not have spoken to me so. Or if he had a female in his life that he treasured. His words had the affect and implied threat that if I did not give into his demands, he would take it from he. I did not know him, and he does not know me. That he thought he could accost a female and get away with it means that he’s done it a thousand times. That he had a huge, self-satisfied grin on his face when I showed I was shocked meant that it was the reaction he was looking for.

And this is how men rape.

They believe that they have the right to a person’s possession simply because the other person holds it. Specifically, they have the right to demanding a woman’s food just because she’s there and they are bored. They believe they are in the right.

As I drove home, I got to thinking. What would change such a person’s attitude? Would he have acted the same way if he knew whose child it was? Would he have been comfortable knowing his daughter was accosted in such a manner? Probably not.

The saddest part? I know that this wouldn’t have happened if I had had a guy walking with me. Another woman wouldn’t have been half as effective. In fact he might have been worse.

Sigh.

2 Responses

  1. Jha March 2, 2012 / 11:45 AM

    If he had a daughter, he wouldn’t have said that? Oh, I think you would find that to be so, so wrong. So many rapists are also parents. Sometimes even good parents. Which makes it all the more worse, really.

    The saddest thing is that you are lucky that all he did was talk to you =((((

    • Naoko Kensaku March 2, 2012 / 12:22 PM

      I was thinking more if he had seen someone do the same thing he did to me to his daughter. :S That didn’t come out orz. But yes, I felt more sad than anything else. :(

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