[Nano] Editor’s Notes: Part 2

Dear Writer

Why yes, I find it quite heartening that you’re making a note to delete those scenes. And the writing style. Sigh, that’s quite a bad way to write a story, isn’t it? But take heart! At least we have a proper plot that is being laid out and the foundation looks to be quite solid. Of course, you DO realise that this is just the rough model and we’re nowhere near starting the actual building right?

Regards
Your Inner Editor.

Writer’s note: Shut up.

[Nano] Do I dazzle you?

This was written on a dare by the Neon. :3 Also I have not forgotten writing meme, but am a bit too lazy + busy to post it.

“Good morning, dear Star. Do I dazzle you?” his smiling face, albeit cleaned of grit and glowing with health this morning, greeted her as she turned over and woke up from her sleep.

Sukina’s mind immediately snapped into defense mode. In a split second, she had taken in her surroundings and the role she was expected to play. The memories of the night before, when he had started the spell and overcame her defenses made her choose a self-defense technique that she hated but one that she thought would be appropriate.

She shrieked and started throwing things at him, beginning first with the pillows that had cradled her head. He laughed and moved away, evading the pillows easily. This was quickly followed by her grabbing things from the bedside table, which were much harder and of a much more dangerous quality, including but not limited to the candle stick, random books, and other paraphernalia. Princess tantrum mode? Very much so.

It was then he spoke, and very quickly too, offering a truce.

“Please! Hear me out, Star! I mean you no harm!” he ducked as a candlestick flew over his head, but as he straightened himself up, a book hit him square across his face, its cover opening to slap him hard. This had the effect of making him lose his balance, and as Anra fell backwards, landing on some pillows and hitting himself (as he fell to the ground holding his face) on the aforesaid candlestick. Only then did Sukina stop.

She remained in bed though, suspicious of him.

Anra took his time to sit up, sensing that the danger, for now, had passed. He opened his eyes to find Sukina staring at him, a jewelled box in her hands this time. That alarmed him, and he removed one hand to entreaty her to stop while the other was pressed to his nose. Sukina watched him as he did so, then noticed that he had blood dripping down.

“Puwhease,” Anra entreated, his words coming out odd as he pinched his nose. “Hweft mi xpain,” he said.

“You’d better,” Sukina got out of the bed and went to him.

As she did, she was aware that she stank badly, but this was forgotten as she knelt before Anra and removed his hand. Her words were not gentle as she cupped the area around his nose and took a deep breath.

“Hold still, this *will* hurt,” she emphasised, before channeling a small amount of energy to heal his nose. She had not broken anything, but there was a vein that she had hurt, which was causing the bleeding. As expected, he yelped.

And yes, Neon, more corniness *will* follow. :D

[Nano] Torturing Celeste

Sorry Celeste, but I think this was worth it. :P

The skies had opened up.

When the first drops of rain began falling, she could ignore them. Soon though, they seeped into her skin, and she could not ignore them any longer. Opening her eyes and looking feebly up, she could see a long road ahead of her, from her vantage point above the road. She thought she might be in some sort of fortification, for her view was partially obstructed by a stone wall.

She tried to get her hands in front of her so she could push herself up from the surface that held her, but she could not move her arms. Turning, she saw that her arms were bound to the wall, spread wide, one arm against each side. She could feel the ache of her legs, begging her to sit. It was then that she thought to look down to see what she was bending over for.

Beneath her, she saw that she had been laid over a wheel. The wheel had wicked spikes, and as the rain washed over her, she became aware that her blood was running down through the hole in her stomach. There must have been pain, but her mind would have blocked it out, she supposed, which was why she was bent over the wheel, probably stabbed through the other side, and her blood was still flowing after she had been here hours.

Or at least it felt like hours.

The rain stopped for a while, or rather, it stopped falling over her face. She blinked, and a creature in a dress was standing in front of her. The creature soon lowered itself so that she could stand face to face with her, and she saw it was a young woman who looked very familiar.

“So, you’re awake now, eh?” the girl smiled. She took in details of the girl; white hair, purple eyes, fair skin, and a demeanor that suggested she was probably in her early teens. Her clothes, the woman thought, was unsuited to this weather; she was wearing a poofy striped dress with ribbons on the hem and a pair of short, lady’s gloves.

“Who…?” the woman asked.

“Why why, Celeste! Have you forgotten me already? It’s Deb!” the young girl laughed maliciously.

The name Celeste was the trigger. Almost immediately, a flood of memories washed over Celeste’s mind, bringing back everything. Including the memories of what had happened during her captivity by Apollo. There was no other way to describe it; it was a forced capture, the Goddess though, for she had not wished to remain there and Apollo had made her a concoction that then kept her sleeping for hours.

Or by the reckoning of her children, years.

“You…!” Celeste tried to lunge at the construct, but NOW the pain had decided to make an appearance. Try as she might, she could not help but let out a scream of pain, one that lasted a long while. The scream was not just to express the physical pain she felt, but the emotional loss she felt from all those years.

“Scream all you want, Godling, but know that no one else can hear you,” Deb laughed again and began walking away.

With the fog finally lifted from her mind, Celeste could now look around her and discover just where she was. The knowledge both chilled her and terrified her.

She was on the fortress overlooking the Gates to Tartarus. With her blood dripping down, she could only surmise that the Locks were opened. No one though, could know the real truth behind the Locks unless they were Divine Beings; the blood of a Divine Being was both lubricant and hinder to a single Lock. To open the three Locks, you would need at least six different Divine Beings from different worlds to completely open the Locks. Looking around her, Celeste did not see any other on the ramparts but her own. It was small relief though. Her blood would drip as long as she was alive, and she would be alive as long as she had at least a single worshipper. As she was the personification of a concept, she could, conceivably, be here for quite some time.

Celeste did not relish the thought.

[Meme] Cultures, Maps and Midways!

What’s your favorite culture to write, fictional or not?
I… don’t really think I have one. I like components of a culture, like how they cast spells, what they believe in and the like, but I don’t think per se I do have any particular culture in mind when I write. How I approach culture in this sense is pretty much how I approach culture in real life; it’s a component, and I only examine it if it affects how I write.

How do you map out locations, if needed? Do you have any to show us?
Do timelines count? Because I have a really, really bad sense of direction and distance, and well… I’ve tried mapping once, many, many years ago. To say that it didn’t work out… :3

Midway question! Tell us about a writer you admire, whether professional or not!
Dimmie actually. There’s a lot of thought and life that goes into her characters, and you get the sense that there’s a certain irrelevancy in the way she writes. Not that what she writes is irrelevant, but that it’s irrelevant what happens to her characters because you know they’ll be brought back for more. In other words, she abuses her characters the way I wish I could.

Continue reading “[Meme] Cultures, Maps and Midways!”

[Nano] Inner Editor Grumbles

Ahem!

Excuse me. Inner Editor Angie here. There’s been quite a few things the girl has been writing (HEY!) that frankly, doesn’t quite meet my standards. Now, considering that this is Nanowrimo we’re talking about AND that the child is actually making effort to write a coherent and concrete story for once, I’m going to let it slide. However, there are some things that need to be revisited AFTER this draft is done, so here’s a list for you. Now, don’t make that face at me. If you’re going to ignore me for an entire MONTH just so you can get the story out, then you bet your pretty little Mokona I’m going to make sure you actually EDIT the bloody thing after Nano.

Things to note:

  • Time frame between first and second gen. 200 years seems enough for at least six, not three generations. Get that cleared up.
  • Naoko needs a knife in that rempit scene. You know which one I’m talking about.
  • The T in TGP needs clarification. Right now it looks like a Mary Sue
  • ALL action scenes need to be revisited. PRONTO.
  • Disposable characters much?

And this is just for the FIRST 25k words. I look forward to editing the rest. Ehehehe. *evil laugh*

(The author, as you can guess, is whimpering now).

Side note: MEME DELAYED TILL THE WEEKEND!