Just in case some people were wondering if I was still around on the interwebs.
Short answer is yes, I’ve been playing about on Twitter with a lot of stalking on Facebook.
Longer answer is that I’ve been battling fatigue, massive anxiety (hello hormones I have not missed you what the hell), and general burnout.
The good thing about my current job is that the mention of burnout and fatigue didn’t result in my team leads making me feel like I’m a useless drain on company resources. It actually resulted in a fruitful conversation with actual action taken to minimise the effects. I can still contribute. In fact, the stuff that I absorbed while I was on the road to burning out is actually being redirected into other media and forms of expression. So I’m not writing super long form or detailed articles that require hours of research now; I’m regurgitating what I know into video scripts, website improvements and helping my new colleagues wrap their heads around our services (total waste management in Australia).
My hair is officially past my shoulders. I’m hoping that when June comes, I can lop it all off in a glorious ponytail. The ponytail is going to Locks of Hope to be turned into wigs for cancer patients. June is also my birthday month, and I may do another round of donation requests for The Seed Foundation.
The first quarter of the year is almost over. Hello Spring, it is nice to see you. Winter I think drives my itchy butt. I feel the need/desire for new pastures. Once I’m passed it, I tend to be… ok? In any case, I’m looking forward to April. My bond with my current company ends then. No, I’m not thinking of leaving but I don’t like having the bond over my head. This is a reminder to myself not to do this again next time.
So how was the first three months of 2018 for you?
Edited 20 Sept 2018: According to a Lowyat.net report, Digi Up has been discontinued effectively immediately. Huh.
Digi Up is a new service for Digi subscribers, targeted at those who upgrade their phones frequently. It offers subscribers the “newest and greatest” phones at an affordable monthly rate. In a nutshell here’s what you need to know:
Who’s eligible: – Those who receive the call or SMS from Digi beginning 2 Feb, if this page is right. – Usage above RM80 monthly for the last three months – My suspicion: Those who switched phones frequently in the last few years (I had 3 phones over the last 3 years, which was probably why I was targeted)
At a glance, you’ll get quite a few good benefits: – New phone yearly if you like, or once every two years (flagship level, it seems) – Phone theft protection (you can claim once per phone) – Accidental damage (water, screen protection, etc) – A concierge-like service for all your phone needs – Buy back guarantee for the phone they ~rent~ give you
So it looks like a pretty damn good deal right? You can upgrade your phone yearly if you like and it will always be flagship-level, you get great phone protection and dedicated customer service. I dropped by a Digi store to get more info, and then the hidden stuff came to light.
Here’s the bit that’s a little obscured on their site they don’t tell you:
You MUST subscribe to the Digi Postpaid 110 plan.
You will be paying the device price together with the plan. So if you choose the Note 8, you’ll be paying RM262 aka RM152 (device price) + RM110 (subscription).
This is a phone rental service. Yes, you read that right, it’s a RENTAL service. You cannot keep the phone even after your contract is over. You need to either return it to Digi for a new phone or extend your contract (max 6 months) OR pay a Payoff fee that’s not listed on that page.
Is Digi Up worth it?
Well, it depends. Digi Up seems to be the next incarnation of Digi’s previous instalment plan, the Easy Up. The biggest change seems to be the mobile protection offered – Easy Up required a separate subscription to Mobisure while Digi Up offers it as part of their service. There’s some wording that also seems to indicate that users could keep their phones on the Easy Up service – on Digi Up, you have to return it or pay them an extra fee to keep it forever.
If you expect to change your phones every 12 months or so then this may be an option for you. If you are already on the RM110 plan OR are considering an upgrade to that plan and was in the market for a new phone, yes, this plan might be worth it. Otherwise, if you’re like me and you expect your phone to be with you for a few years… probably not.
Keeping track of what’s happened to me is the current reason why I am journalling
Got reassured by my boss that she loves the work I am putting out
Could be a bit more meticulous but part of it is the insane workload we all have – understanding boss is really awesome
Ontama curry from Hanamaru is delicious and cheap
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MANMARU CLOSED DOWN
Epic failing at writing my journal reflection this morning
Took a nap that almost lasted three hours
Ever since I started my new job, I have started listening to a lot more podcasts. As it is I am completely up to date with Welcome to Nightvale (CARLOS X CECIL 4EVA and knowing that Carlos’ actor Dylan Marron is also gay and a POC who IS as sweet outside of Nightvale as Carlos is a life goal), Our Fair City (OMG it has an end date but why), discovered the Orbiting Human Circus (Julian why you so adorbs) and have recently started listening to Productivity Alchemy and I already love it (thank you tenta!).
The Podcast habit was easy to start, because the new car has auto Bluetooth connection, so I just start it up when I get into the car. I have never been more glad to dump radio, and even if I have to drive my mom to church I now put on Spotify’s Top 40 list instead of Mix FM.
There have been other habits that I have tried and not quite succeeded though. Writing daily journal entries is one of them. This post is an example of how I’m structuring it.
The Notable section is a way for me to gather my thoughts and reflect on what has happened between the last time I wrote an entry and now. I have a tendency to oversleep, which cuts into the morning session, and by the evening I’m usually too exhausted.
I’m compensating by writing when I need some space to think at work, and by continuing the weekly habit I already had before this. It’s been almost two months since I started this journey, and while it is on its way to becoming a permanent habit, there are still enough times where I feel like I’m failing.
I can’t remember where I began the thought dump process, but I know that it required me to get over my tendency to listen to others and really just start examining my own habits. I needed to convince myself that it was alright to take 10 minutes to simply write whatever that came to mind, that it was fine to thought dump and not censor myself.
The hardest part has been to write to be forgotten, because I don’t want anyone else to read it. A pen and paper notebook, while romantic, is also impractical for this. I would rather write on the computer with the ability to edit; my fingers can keep up with the speed of my thoughts.
So what I have learnt?
I need a little structure
I was talking to Tenta about journalling and I realised that what put me off bullet journalling was the whole “oh you need to structure your day HERE IS LIMITED SPACE TO MAKE IT LOOK PRETTY WHILE GETTING SHIT DONE” and the whole productivity thing was not something I like.
The format of writing what was notable in the past few hours however, worked well to remind me of things that are memorable. They didn’t need to be things that are good, though I always want to start with that; I want to remember the happier moments and wins instead of the negative bits.
I also got myself a paper journal (thanks Rin!) that was more for those moments I didn’t want to whip out the Bluetooth keyboard and yet wanted to write. It has since been turned into an ideas book, with little snippets and practising of my penmanship.
Journalling is therapeutic
There’s plenty enough said online and in studies that highlight the benefits of journalling, but I would like to confess something it has made me realise; journalling allows me to put into words insights and ideas I have had for the longest time, but lacked the courage to say or admit. It is brutally honest, but only if I am with myself.
Writing, to me, is half an art, half a science. Perhaps the hardest part is to be gentle to yourself, especially when dealing with emotions.
Self-care is not selfish, and if it means you need to take time out to go pay your bills, have a mini mental vacation or treat yourself to a good meal, it will allow you to go back to work or whatever it is you need to do.
My habits have noticeable dip and high tendencies
Probably not going to happen to everyone, but I noticed this about myself. Journalling allowed me to record and somewhat track this. More importantly, it gave me the space to process the emotions that led or did not lead to the decision.
Another side benefit of journalling on the PC or via a service like Google Docs; it makes looking up more of the same that much easier.
Journalling has made me more empathic?
Still not too sure about this, but journalling has made me more sensitive to others. I’m learning to read between the lines with a finer sift, and there is less hesitation when it comes to reaching out. However all this extra writing on top of my current job writing has led to an unexpected (though unsurprising outcome):
I find it harder to craft stories
My brain can think up scenarios but rarely pursue it to fruition. I can attribute this somewhat to having just come out of an environment where EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR TIME MUST BE PRODUCTIVE AND YOU ARE COSTING US HOURS AND MINUTES but that is not the whole of it. The drive has been lost, and I want to find it again.
I wouldn’t even call it a balanced year. While there were some spots of light, there were many more dark moments. 2016 is like that sarcastic uncle you always wanted to punch – a man who makes a spectacle simply because he can. Sometimes he does good deeds, but for most part you just want to rip him a new one. Read More »2016: A Review and Goodbye
Woke up this morning in preparation for my flight to hear that Carrie Fisher had left at the ripe “old” age of 60.
Carrie Fisher. GODDAMNIT 2016 STAHP.
I’m angry and I’m sad. I don’t usually comment on celebrity deaths (I prefer to keep my grief private) but holy crap, really, 2016? Carrie Fisher?
When I was a kid, Carrie Fisher was Princess Leia. She was one of the strongest women I knew, a princess who went out and DID things. A deft politician, a commanding general. She was capable of holding a blaster as much as the other guy. In a way, she made it okay for girls to be bloodthirsty too. And to get their hands dirty doing so.
As an adult, Carrie Fisher was an inspiration to me trying to be a writer. She was unapologetic, open, forthright and perhaps most importantly, herself as she wrote. I didn’t realise that there was such a thing as a script doctor, and knowing that such a role existed gave me a sense of relief – on the surface, the idea of a fixer-writer (as opposed to simply an editor) seems to be anathema to the idea of writing.