Thank god it’s March already.
WAIT what do you mean it’s March already? The first quarter of the year is almost gone? Noooooooo!!!
^ That up there describes my feelings as I’m writing this post. The period after Chinese New Year has been quite the polarising time for me. I have a sensation of staying in place while running around madly at the same time.
They say the more things change, the more they stay the same.
As March draws to a close, I’ve made peace with a few things in life. Or rather I’ve closed the door on some things for now and opened others.
Let’s start from the most recent series: I just came back from a whirlwind trip to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. It was a work trip and I got to meet with my colleagues from Australia, Manila and Ho Chi Minh. It was also a very exhausting trip because it was a “fly in Monday, fly out Friday” kind of schedule.
We were very packed all throughout. There were many one-to-one reviews, workshops and on top of all that we still needed to get our regular work done, though my bosses and team leaders were really excellent at ensuring we didn’t have a crazy load of things to complete on the trip. Being able to sit with my colleagues to have discuss things in person rather than through a call was really great too.
Hanging out with the locals really made a difference, because my Vietnamese colleagues brought us to places I’d have never realised otherwise. Something momentous – I found a beer I actually liked the taste of, though that was merely a sip instead of a full glass. HCM’s craft beer scene is pretty fun.
That said, the trip was very exhausting, and it didn’t help that the red tide made a visit after I came back (that was considerate, at least). I have been spending the last one week recuperating from it, hence low energies and a sort of apathy that’s only beginning to lift now.
We also moved locations in the office into another spot, and with it my poor money plant suffered. The move happened about a week before the trip and I couldn’t find a new location for it before we flew, so when I came back, it was very yellow, almost white. I’ve found a new location where it can be sunned, and since then I’ve been leaving it there for a few hours at a time. Leaves are now turning that palest shade of green, so I have hope!
I have also picked up brush lettering, though what I am doing now a lot is mainly practising strokes. If there is anything I have learnt, it is that I am extremely lacking in discipline and perseverance. Routine is something I struggle with, in the sense that the time period between novelty wearing out and second nature taking over is the most sensitive of times.
On the weight front, I am gaining and not losing. Considering how things have been I am not surprised. There’s a lot more work to do especially with the next weigh in coming this Friday, but I will count myself as doing well if I can lose even just one kg more.
Getting back into the routine is probably going to be the hardest for me, but I am thinking of switching things up. Specifically I am probably going to change gyms for a bit and see what that does to my brain. I also need to keep a closer eye on my sleeping habits – they’re currently a bit shot from the Vietnam trip.
All these have led to me dropping a few things. I’ve decided to drop podcasting for the time being. While I have a bunch of things I want to say, the last two weeks have been a struggle for me to get to the editing stage. The quality is not where I’d like it to be, and I have to admit it is partially due to me feeling that what I have to say is really nothing much in the scheme of things.
It makes more sense for me to take a step back when I can and reconsider where my time can be put to better use. I like podcasting though, and I will go back to it, but I don’t think it will be anything in the next 3 – 4 months.
Which has led me to the next realisation.
I do best when I have clear goals and a sense of purpose (who doesn’t?). In my line of work this manifests when I have a clear brief with questions. Otherwise it involves me doing quite a bit of work for research. Thing is I have fallen off the wagon recently, and a lot of it is due to facepalming and not wanting to dig beyond the surface.
Yes, there’s a barrier I did not realise that still existed in my heart. Now that I know it’s there, I can formulate a plan to face it head on. This doesn’t just apply to work though – I had the same issues with wanting to write for pleasure.
I seem to have lost the spark to imagine things, to make things up and write a lot of things randomly. A lot of the work I have done in recent years have been very reality-based. My flights of fancy have been grounded. There are reasons for this but I know I am capable of much more.
So part of the goal for the next few months is to focus back on my foundations. I’ve begun refilling the creative well but it is very slow going and shallow when you are only drawing from one source. Currently I am only reading light novels but I think I can soon start drawing from physical books again soon.
I am also planning to start playing computer games again. There’s also Netflix, which I intend to subscribe to next month. It feels a lot like I can breathe and look forward to the future again now, at least once I’ve written this out.
Thank you for reading this long-ass update. I’ll see you all on the next one.