2010-2019: A recap

Since everyone is doing it, I thought might as well right?

And in true last minute fashion, here’s my quick entry about the last decade. Figured it would be easier to go by my photos and to write the impressions down… Looking back it’s been one heck of a wild ride.

2010 Photo

2010: Of vanity and body

Took a gap year of full time work. Thinking back, I also had my first (recorded) anxiety attack here relating to careers. Lost my grandmother in December. Felt like it was the fresh start in some ways.

Devices acquired/used:

Sony Ericssion K810i
Prolink Glee UW2 (my second laptop I bought myself!)


2011: Stabilising career, missing photos

After the gap year, this was “reorienting” myself. I began a new career as a “Social Media Specialist.” Health-wise, looking through my entries, it was also the same year I was diagnosed with episodic asthma, in which shortness of breath can be triggered by specific allergies.

Devices acquired/used:

Upgraded to the Xperia Pro because I needed to do more things on the go and the K810i was no longer cutting it.
Desktop PC and laptop. The latter was used when I went out during Nanowrimo to write on the go. It was wonderful (also I was a huge fan of Ubuntu Linux then!).


2012: The travelling begins!

They say that whatever you are doing in the first 12 hours/first day of the new year is what you will be doing for the rest of the year. My family had a trip up to Genting the night before to catch the fireworks, but it was too cloudy and so it was cancelled hahaha.

In Feb I went for the first ever overseas travel trip without my parents (yes it’s laughable it took this long). Went with Neon, Priest and Windy to Japan, thank you so much for being patient with me, girls. I learnt a lot about asking for permissions, boundaries and things I should have learnt long before were it not for overprotective families.

Friends/colleagues-wise, it was the beginning of the “business shutdown” or “Sau Kong” tradition for me, where my colleagues (and ex-colleagues) would have an informal dinner to celebrate surviving another year before CNY.

I also attended quite a few client-related work events this year – I think this was when I was beginning to feel the fake-ness in advertising very strongly. Also this year could be known as the year I began amassing a small BPAL trove. I also ran a small name card contest and ended up paying the five people who joined money anyway, because their namecard designs were really good. I’m still using the winner’s version after all these years.

Another first: I was bridesmaid to a friend (aka NOT a blood family member, so that was nice). Also this was the year the company sent me for First Aid training. Besides the actual techniques, I remember tweeting about what a misogynistic POS the fireman “chief” was. This was also the year I dyed my hair purple I think.

A lot of interesting things happened in 2012, but if I don’t wrap up this section we’re never going to get through, so moving on…

Devices acquired/used:

CM Quickfire Pro (Cherry MX Blue), my very first mech keyboard – don’t use it as much because I now need a fully backlit keyboard but I rotate it with other keyboards in my collection
ASUS Transformer Pad (it lasted only 18 months and died after warranty ran out cibai)
A LOT of IEMs (in-ear headphones)


2013: More travelling, settling down

It didn’t feel like it, but looking back at my 2013 photos there were a lot of things happening. There was my second trip to Japan, which included the first time I ever slept in an airport (I’ll only do it in Japan and no other countries) and a lot more exploration.

I also continued my gaming journey by getting a 3DS I named Sachiko. FE: Awakening turned out to be my gateway drug, and I love it so till today. I was also into Ingress A LOT this year. Though more of the fun of claiming portals and not so much the rest of the gaming mechanics. There was also a breakup during this year – we both knew it was coming, just… didn’t want to let go which led to a lot of issues.

For the first time in forever, I caught my very first fish on a family trip. It was really my first, as before this during family trips I rarely landed any. Though I caught the fish on the gills and it was painful for both fish and me. I’m sorry fish!

Politically this was my second time voting and wow was it a mess. Not a mess that 2018 would be but still kinda mess.

Devices acquired/used:

ASUS Transformer Book
Pebble Watch


2014: Same old, some new

I… didn’t realise how many devices I upgraded in this particular year till I started going through my photos. This was also the year that Google Photos introduced auto-gif/making moving photos out of a burst of photos. Since my phones could do an auto burst capture, my 2014 is filled with photos of that happening.

Most of the devices bought were to either cover deficients in devices I already owned (Miband for the step counter because Pebble’s didn’t have a good one, Nexus 7 and the Logitech to replace the Asus for on-the-go writing…).

I fell in love twice this year – once with a man who would eventually become my husband, and the second with life again. Both were very tentative in the beginning, but I didn’t realise until then just how I felt. Creatively, it was the first time I tried Inktober and that was a fun experience. Though I didn’t last as long as I’d have liked hahaha.

Looking through my photos, it feels like 2014 was a very innocent year. Where there was still that clear line between online and offline, in the sense that the circles hadn’t melted together yet. Before the toxicity of GG and various other stupidities.

Also cutting this section short because I’m in May and there are STILL photos OMG self.

Devices acquired/used:

Miband (the original)
Nexus 7 (second-hand)
Sony Xperia Z1 Compact
Logitech K480 Bluetooth wireless keyboard


2015: Alive outside, dead inside

I hit a slump here. My photos reminded me a lot of things happened here, but at the same time, there is a lot of “dead” feelings here too. This was when I started looking for a way out, because I felt like I was running on repeat aimlessly. The funny thing is that creatively, this was one of the best times, as I was writing and submitting stories everywhere. When it came to lucky draws, I would generally win something substantial (like a new phone or device) so I… really didn’t have much to complain about.

Every time I think back to this year, and the trips I took, bittersweet memories fill me. This year I took my parents to Taipei, and it was the first and last time I footed most of the bill for my mom and dad. I am very glad I got to treat my dad to at least one overseas trip, and to show him that I could do this for them (he passed away the year after).

Devices acquired/used:

No change, same like the year before. Only thing I did was change the casings.


2016: New Start

Jumped into advertising because I wanted to go back to pure copywriting. This was also the beginning of my second podcasting kick – I had an hour long commute either way and podcasts were the best way to pass the time. I put on weight despite walking almost every day, because I was eating badly.

My dad passed away in February. The family took it, on the surface, well, but each of us mourned horribly in our own ways. I suppressed my feelings a lot during that time, and so my job became one from starting with fresh promise to one of insane disappointment to everyone involved. I think I fell into depression but didn’t want to admit it to myself.

I’m still unpacking lessons from this year, because there were a lot of things I could have done better about. I also bought my first property, but decided not to move in and rent it out instead as I didn’t want to leave mom on her own.

I met a lot of people here and reassessed quite a few friendships here. Some I tried to maintain but slipped away, and others well… I finally cut off.

Devices acquired/used:

OnePlus 2 – I inherited my dad’s phone as mine was showing signs of age AND the waterproof cover came off.


2017: We cheat people!

Heard this at the beginning of the year. Someone who I admired but soon came to learn was actually an abusive, insecure leader said this to us creatives. Specifically, what she said was “We work in an industry of lies. We CHEAT people!” Looking back, I can’t deny that she was right, advertising is an industry of lies. What made me pissed off and angry was the hypocrisy – especially for an agency that utilised a lot of “influencers” trying to make brands seem authentic.

I was lucky enough to find a new job as I was heading to Singapore for a talk. They paid me well and I gained breathing room, financially. I also had to adjust to waking up early as my new job began from 6am to 3pm. Due to this, I finally bought a new car (previous cars were hand-me-downs).

I travelled to Bali on a company trip and fell in love with the island. This trip also marked the first time I was sharing rooms with people whom I consider as strictly colleagues, and not friends.

Looking back, it would seem that this was also the beginning of my stationery addiction – I bought cheap notebooks and pens from Taobao via ezbuy.

Devices acquired/used:

Samsung Galaxy Note FE (because the OP2 was getting too slow for my needs)


2018: Things coming together

Career-wise, it felt like things were finally stabilising in 2018. I felt like I was in a much safer and growing place. The team also expanded, which meant that all of us could breathe easier because it was not just one person handling the load. I was reminded again why I love writing and began dipping my feet again into writing for myself.

Junior, the family dog, started showing signs of age and frequently could not find his way back to the house. I should have been more sensitive at this stage but I was very much still in my own land.

Also began a monthly Tai-tai thing! This was also the year I began upgrading a lot of my devices.

Devices acquired/used:

HP ENVY x360 – A new laptop because my desktop was showing signs of age and I wanted something portable
D-LINK AC1200 – WiFi signal in the house was getting stupid slow and we could confirm it was definitely a router issue
TP-LINK AC1900 – Used this to replace the older WiFi dongle I had on the desktop BEFORE I got the new laptop
TWS Q18 and the KZ ZST Hybrid – to replace the dying Mi headphones in the office (yes those are TWO in-ear Bluetooth headsets)


2019: Where we are

Looking back, I feel kind of proud that I managed to survive the 2010s. This year was a very eventful one – I was hospitalised, underwent my first op, got a new phone, got married, and am now writing here. I also did a podcast series, attempted to lose weight and travelled to Vietnam for a team meeting.

On a fun note, you could also say this was the same year I stepped deeply into the Samsung ecosystem (see why below).

Devices used/acquired:

Samsung Galaxy Note 10 – replacing the FE
Galaxy Watch Active – replacing my Pebble which was dying from buttons and notifications
Galaxy Buds – better connectivity and sound quality with the phone

I’m kind of glad that we survived the 2010s. Here’s to surviving the next 10!

Things I didn’t know about fibroid surgery… until I had it

Fibroid header (1)

Open surgery is like giving birth

Or undergoing a C-section, depending on who you ask. In my case, removing my fibroids is very similar to having undergone a C-section. The wounds are pretty much in the same place, so my dietary needs and recovery times are very similar. If you come from a background where post-delivery confinement practices are a thing, then yes, this is where I am at now.

Both my mom and my mom-in-law insisted I wear sarongs at least for the first two weeks to prevent wound irritation, and both keep reminding me to move slowly so I wouldn’t aggravate the wound. In fact even the nurse at the checkup yesterday reminded me to get up and sit down slowly (as you can tell, I kinda fail at this).


Your innards will literally change positions

Due to the size of my fibroids, my bladder, uterus and various other organs were pushed very far upwards in my body. The removal of the fibroids (10 removed of various sizes! With one left behind because it was too deep in!) has resulted in these organs slowly moving back downwards and otherwise towards where they should be.

Emptying my bladder the first one week plus after the surgery resulting in some massive temporary crampings (which I still get now and then). According to my doctor, this is normal as my bladder is learning that it can completely empty itself instead of always “holding back some urine” which was something I did not realise was abnormal.


Lack of appetite within the first few days is normal

One of the most common things that can happen after abdominal surgery of most kinds is that your small and large intestine stop working for a short while. This is one of the reasons why my doctor was “waiting” for me to pass gas – the expulsion of air meant that my bowels were working.

In my case though, a mix of post-operative ileus and lactose intolerance actually stymied my bowel movements for a few days. At one point I even threw up, and it was at that stage my doc realised that while my large intestine was moving, my small intestine was not. He recommended I chew sugar-free chewing gum to trick my body into thinking that food was coming.

This worked, up to a point. By the end of the second day I could take water and some liquid foods. Also I was sick of chewing gum. I still have the second bottle of sugar-free gum staring at me as I write this.


Being grateful for bowel movements

Until I could not go, I didn’t really appreciate my bowel movements. Let’s just say that I’m glad it’s regular now.


Probiotics may be issued at the end of your hospital stay

Remember what I mentioned about the gut not quite working? In my case my doctor gave me probiotics to be taken after I leave the hospital, as my doc didn’t want to take the chance of me getting complications from introducing gut bacteria while I was in the hospital. This is actually a pretty important step as abdominal surgery can wipe out your gut bacteria due to antibiotics.


Massive exhaustion the first few weeks is normal!

Your body will be redirecting your food intake and nutrition towards healing the wound, so expect to feel massively sleepy the first few weeks. In my case, there is a literal difference between having and not having coffee on a daily basis. On days when I have coffee, I can usually stay awake for up to 5-6 hours straight. Otherwise I’d need to go in for a nap every few hours.


The back story:

So for those who don’t know, I was hospitalised back in July for my small mango. After three months on a GnRHA (aka Zoladex), I went back in about two weeks ago after Deepavali for the surgery to remove my fibroids.

First, the good news. When I went on Zoladex (it’s what I’m referring to, easier to type compared to GnRHA), I was also advised to avoid soy and factory chicken (think KFC) as these encouraged higher estrogen hormone level productions (from what I understood).

The treatment seemed to have worked, because the biggest fibroid went from 12.5 x 8.6 x 7.3 cm to 9 x 6 x 4.5cm. It may not look like much, but when you consider that the fibroids have been with me for years, the reduction is insane. Reducing the size of the fibroids meant that I would be a better candidate for keyhole surgery, which comes with much faster recovery periods.

However, due to the positioning of the fibroids, my doc decided to switch from laparascopic to open surgery during the procedure. This was due mainly because some of the fibroids were directly up against my organs – removing the fibroids via keyhole could damage said organs.

My hospital stay got extended due to stomach issues mentioned above. Having some Milo (with milk) triggered sensitivity in my bowels I did not know was possible, which ended with me throwing up whatever little food I had and then some.

On a good note, this gave my doctor the clue he needed to resolve my food issues, so while I was put on fasting, I was still on the IV drip to prevent dehydration.

Oddly enough, my IV hand was switched from my right to the left during my recovery period in the hospital (this was not as unexpected or bad as it sounds, it was just surprising).

What was odd about it was that I developed superficial thrombophlebitis two days AFTER the IV was removed. It manifested as a swelling on the back of my right hand that found relief with a cold compress. A week after leaving the hospital and many applications of Fucidin later, and it’s almost all gone. In fact the spot tends to itch now. Huh.


FAQ about fibroids

Note: there’s a gory photo of my fibroids laid out in a row in this section, which is why it’s hidden under a cut. 

While writing this piece, I asked friends and colleagues whether they had any questions about the surgery, and most of it boiled down to:
Read More »Things I didn’t know about fibroid surgery… until I had it

August 2019: Longer than I expected

Welcome to August

Edited: Yes, I understand that I am now posting this in October, which means this is two months late, but eh, I’m just happy I got this done. Haven’t been feeling this in a while.

Queen Bae
August… feels like a fever.

A fever that’s still happening in September, but that is a story for another day. I’m still not completely back to normal, and considering what happened in July, that’s kind of understandable. Money wise though, things are fairly stable, which is a blessing in disguise. Overall, things seem to have settled into a much more predictable tempo, which is nice.

Letter to self

Favourite pens

One of the things I have been trying to push myself to do is to play with the stationery I’ve been accumulating over the last few months. My favourite pens in August were the Pentel Dual Hybrid Metallics, along with the black notebook I bought from Popular not too long ago. There’s something mesmerising about watching the ink turn from red to shiny green or blue to gold while writing.

I have also been trying to push myself to use the arsenal I have been accumulating since I started this journey. The gorgeous tape here is from a series called Sword which Neko helped me get from this year’s Doujima in Singapore. It’s gorgeous and there’s so much of it, but it is so very pretty! Unlike a lot of washi tape though, it’s actually a bit fragile, so I use it for things I am pretty sure I don’t want to move.

Fountain pen cleaning

Stepping into inks

Thanks to Kakei’s suggestions, I began investigating a way to reuse my fountain pen cartridges while being able to play with inks from ink bottles (which, as we all know, is a deep rabbit hole). This journey made me realise a few things:

  • Sharp needles are very hard to find
    I was looking for syringes and online people were recommending mainly pharmacies (only if you are US-based or in a country where self-medication and injection is not looked down upon as it is here). Turns out Guardian and Watsons, the two biggest chains in Malaysia, don’t stock both the needles and the barrel. If they do, it’s only the barrel, which is more for feeding kids/pets.

    The bear and I suspected this could be because Malaysia had a war on drugs years ago, and having easy access to those needles was probably a bad idea. In the end I found what I wanted in Daiso, of all places. They have a variety of blunt needles that fit my needs, plus made me feel safer.

  • A little bit goes a long way
    Everything in perspective, but a little bit of fountain pen ink can go a long way. I think my cartridges all need less than 2ml (and I think even that is grossly overestimating their capacity) BUT they last me for weeks, even with daily writing. To be fair, I do tend to switch between different pens because of ink colours, but they don’t dry out (which was my biggest worry).
  • Stickerrific sells sample sizes
    Of a number of inks. I got two of them and now I am planning to get the full size of the Kyo-Iro ink: No 3, Flaming Red of Fushimi. This ink was a bit thin when I was using it in the Monami Olika, but when I switched over to the Kakuno it performed admirably.

    Kyo-Iro inks in Monami Olika

    The Soft Snow of Ohara is a very calming greyish-blue, but it’s not quite to my taste. A bit of research reveals that actually reveals that the Flaming Red of Fushimi is kinda dry, while Soft Snow of Ohara is a bit wet, both of which would explain their behaviour in the Olikas.

Enlightenment Ceremony

Family outings

The husband’s family attended Nirvana’s Enlightenment Day, which is similar (if not the same, I can’t tell because it’s all very Chinese-speaking/writing based) to the Buddhist holiday “Ulambana.” It is a day to pray for your family’s ancestors to gain enlightenment and reach Nirvana (so like the Catholic version of escaping Purgatory, as I understand it).

The festival coincides with the Hungry Ghost Month, so as usual, the practices may seem to have blended into each other. Which also means it’s…

Casa Hana mooncake

Mooncake season!

This year it kind of snuck up on me and the husband unawares. I was asking our respective moms if they wanted us to buy mooncakes, but both of them were “no, no need, no one will eat it.” Mooncakes are delicious, but they can also get very cloying very fast, and the husband and me don’t usually take more than one.

Mooncake packaging on the other hand, as you can see, was absolutely beautiful. If I could get just the packaging without the mooncake why yes I would.

Hi Bitna!

I got myself a new phone! There were several reasons for this, part of it being I needed a new one (not urgently, but it was getting to be from a “nice to have” to a “I should start looking at replacement features I want” and then they announced the Note 10 with plenty of features.

I was actually planning to wait but when the husband and I saw the pre-orders we thought it was worth it. Mainly because unlike the previous pre-orders, I would actually use the majority of the items. If you pre-ordered the Note 10, you get a wireless charging battery and the Galaxy buds.

Note 10 Preorder

I have not regretted my decision. There’s a ton of small features within the Note 10 that makes it quite worthwhile to upgrade from my Note FE, including colourful off-screen memo (it used to be only in white on black), to better camera features and upgrades, and a speedier processor. Battery life is also superior to my FE and it seems that the fingerprint sensor, even though it is now under glass instead of a dedicated button, is much more reliable than the FE’s.

Testing Note 10 camera

The stylus upgrades were also quite fun, especially with the selfie function. I just need to remember to press the button to trigger the Air Gestures, otherwise I’d keep thinking it was faulty. :p Overall I think if you’re coming from Note 8 and below, it’s a worthwhile upgrade.

Cats on roof

Now that I’ve written all that, it seems that August wasn’t as empty as I felt it was. And I left out the bit about reorganising my desk, but that’s something I think I’ll write about in the next entry. Onwards to September!

Happy Malaysia Day!

Malaysia flag on cupcake

Happy 56th birthday, Malaysia! I know that according to EPF we can cash out on our deposits, but let’s together invest in understanding, dialogue, and the REJECTION OF FASCISTS (if you’re reading this, you know what kind of people I mean). ^_~

July 2019 update

Leia from Stickerrific

So July was a very eventful month for me. Somewhat. The biggest event of the month led to me getting very little done, work-wise, but I am still here, and I am still able to write, so for that, I am grateful.


The small mango

For those who aren’t following me on Twitter, Insta or the like, well, I was hospitalised in July. What had begun as stomach pain was actually a huge fibroid. This fibroid had grown to the size of a small mango (my words, not the doc’s), and was pressing down on my other organs, leading to epic pain and helplessness.

I have another entry lined up about the full details about that, but suffice to say, thanks to the small mango, I now have an inkling of what menopause holds for me in a few decades.

Thank you for those who came to visit me while I was warded and those who followed up. I love you all.

Platinum Night Haul


I paid a few visits to Stickerrific for various reasons, including cat therapy. Just taking their photos alone makes me happy. There’s a certain charm and patience about them.

Also I bought new pens. And attended the Platinum Fountain Pen night, which celebrated their 25th anniversary. I ended up getting two Preppys and replacement cartridges at a massive discount (thanks guys!).

Chewie from Stickerrific

Getting up to speed

I still feel like I am moving very slowly. There were a lot of things that happened at work as well – projects coming to fruition, colleagues going on leave, and other things.

I’m just glad that July is over. And yes I know I am posting this end of August but I should have something new coming up soon hahaha.